Boy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Two fish are swimming in an lake and one hits a wall and the second one yells “dam!”
Known that one for a long time, but it’s still funny.
LOL
I doubt I would ever say this to someone. It’s much better when typed.
This one is pretty good
Don’t take this one seriously:
“Do Nickel Plated yoyos come from JT Nickel?”
You’re going to need a personal bodyguard from now on.
Yes, because a I am the star of these forums and everybody envies my awesomeness. ;D
What’s an avocado’s favorite game?
guac-a-mole.
whats a professional soccer player’s favorite game?
it really depends on what his interests are. for instance, if he is more of a planning man maybe his favorite game is solitaire. perhaps he is more of a funny guy, in which case he might favor cards against humanity. maybe hes into water polo. it all really depends on the type of person that this soccer player is. maybe he’s not into all that mixing business with pleasure, so that means his favorite game cant be soccer. maybe he really is into that kinda thing, which means his favorite game is trying to court his coach.
it all really just depends, ya know?
LOL see like this would deserve a negative reputation ;D (inside joke kinda)
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly.
Lorraine dies suddenly.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked.
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what do you get when you cross a road with a chicken?
a really dumb joke
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just unsavory my friend… -1 rep
theres no rep here! thats worse than eric koloski ‘hashtagging’ stuff on the forums…
what did one poor medieval artist say?
“I’m ba-roke. [broke/baroque].”
I know, brutal lol
True stories:
Person 1: What color is that yoyo before “colored”
Me: It’s just raw metal, so silver, I guess.
Person 2: How is it colored?
Me: Food coloring
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: Come on, you really think so, [person 1’s name]?
Me: Well, actually it is true cross fingers
Person 1: See, you never know
Me: You really don’t, because it ain’t true
Person 1/2: Oh…
Me: 
Another one:
My little brother: Name an animal that starts with the letter “F”!
Mom: Frog
Sister: Fire Ant
Dad: Falcon
Me: Fried Chicken
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Haha 
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Don’t forget to accept my answer if it was helpful.
Upvote