Jokes (merged)

First off, please do not think that this is a “Yoyo jokes” thread and I am copying. I sort of am but not like that.

This is the place where you can post all of your non-yoyo related jokes. Have at it.

I’ll start with:

Q. Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
A. They wouldn’t stop cheering “bach, bach, bach!”

Your turn.

Okay, here is another one:

Hickory dickory dock
The mouse ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the others escaped with minor injuries

1 Like

What’s beethovens favorite fruit?

How many people with alzheimer’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.


Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn’t have… THE GUTS!!

Hahahahahaha, thank you, thank you. I’ll e here all week! :smiley:

1 Like

Post any jokes you find funny and entertaining. Let’s keep it clean though.

How to catch a bear…

First you dig a deep hole. Then you fill it with ashes. Next you take a can of peas and line them around the edge of the hole. Then when a bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.


Woah, jbh, I did not know you had that in you.

LOL :smiley: That was pretty good JHB

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was out standing in his field!

What do you call a short psychic that broke out of jail?

A small medium at large.

Gotta keep them clean huh? Darn that limits me. XD What about blond jokes?

Just trying to do my part. :wink:

I have one
What did the sushi say to the bee?
(it’s pronounced sort of like what’s up except wassa- bee)

Whats simillar between food and dark humor?

Not everyone gets it.

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?�
The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic. “Try doing it with the engine running.”

1 Like

I like it. XD

What did the baby bird say when he saw a $.01 nucular bomb.

cheap. cheap. cheap.

lol ;D

A baby seal walks into a club

I’m almost 21 and my eyesight is getting worse, at what point do I get adult supervision?

Aye good one!