What is a pirate’s favorite place to eat? Arrrrrrby’s
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Why did Pavlov have soft hair?
He conditioned it.
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Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?
Well well well…
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Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
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Its already been a tough year, but 2020 can’t end.
Because that would be admitting 2021.
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I hate Russian Dolls…so full of themselves.
Ill see myself out…
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Three men walk into a bar…you think the third would have ducked.
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If I ever need a heart transplant I want his/hers. It’s never been used.
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Why did the yoyoer bring toilet paper to a party?
He’s a party pooper.
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That is sooooo baaaaad! Why am I chuckling?!?
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Why did the skeleton burp?
It didn’t have the guts to fart!
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
credit: snacks jr.
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Q: What is “Muffins” spelled backwards?
A: It’s that thing you do when you pull them out of the oven
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oh man, that was dad!
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Not a joke per se, but now when I get undressed for bed I say…
Edit: messed up the joke
What do beer and frog legs have in common?
The hops.
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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When I was little , my parents would feed me alphabet soup, claiming that it was my favorite, but they were just…
…putting words in my mouth.
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when you kiss your honey
and your nose is very runny
you may think it’s funny
but it’snot
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Where’s the best place for us to keep our Dad jokes?
In a Dad-abase.
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