Dad joke thread

(Mark Walker) #64

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans

6 Likes
(Alexander) #65

I don’t know if these qualify as dad jokes, but I found a list of jokes I made a while back and thought I would share:

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang…then it hit me.

The man who invented the door-knocker got a no-bell prize.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I will show you A-flat minor.

5 Likes
(Alexander) #66

Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

My little brother said that the onion is the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

I think Santa has a riverfront property in Brazil. All my presents came from the Amazon this year.

6 Likes
({John15}) #67

These are gold man, bravo!

3 Likes
(Alexander) #68

Sadly, I didn’t come up with these…but hey. They’re good for a laugh!

4 Likes
(Alexander) #69

Forgot about this one: William disliked his time in the army. He always flinched at the phrase, “Fire at will!”

4 Likes
#70

Link to comic (NSFW - language): https://i.imgur.com/ADImt3B.jpg

5 Likes
({John15}) #71

Wow. That was… Wow

4 Likes
#72

I’m not a dad but I sometimes feel “dad” inside…

3 Likes
#73

No problem! They aren’t exactly mine or my dad’s, but you’re welcome to them. Enjoy!

1 Like
({John15}) #74

Did you hear about the mathematician who hates negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

10 Likes
(Robert) #75

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

4 Likes
({John15}) #76

5 Likes
#77

This one still owns the thread.

3 Likes
(David ) #78

Why did the coffee file a police report?

…Because it got mugged!

7 Likes
(Robert) #79

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

7 Likes
#80

I heard a scarecrow won a Nobel peace prize,

apparently he was outstanding in his field

6 Likes
#81

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because he was two tierd

2 Likes
#82

It would be tire (tire as in wheel, and tire as in exausted) then d, so tired. Tier is like ranking and such. Good dad joke though :stuck_out_tongue:

edit: the pun is on two/too, not tired.

3 Likes
#83

In school they told me “Practice makes perfect.” And then they told me “Nobody’s perfect,” so then I stopped practicing. -Steven Wright

4 Likes