Dad joke thread

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its kinda like crushing soda cans… its soda-pressing

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Just forwarded that to my dad and brother!

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I’m sure y’all all heard this before but this is the only one I could think of…

Why was 6 afraid of 7

(Here it comes) :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:

Because 7 8 9!

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Jeez dad :roll_eyes:

You’re embarrassing me

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Follow @codinghorror link above. Here is one from the link:

How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. Like all animals, it is an automaton, driven by blind genetic imperative, marching slowly to oblivion.

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French Rupture by Jaques Tootight.
English Rupture by Lord Howard Hurtz.

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I’m sorry, my son, I will stop.

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See now that’s just funny

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Husband: im organizing the herbs alphabetically now.
Wife: why, where would you find the time?
Husband: thats easy, next to the sage

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Funny story kind of related:

I was in the produce section at a grocery store in Northern California one time, and there were probably about four random people all in my direct vicinity within earshot.

Some random dude walks up to us and asks a general question to all of us:

“Hey, does anyone know what thyme looks like?”

All of us paused what we were doing and kind of stared off like “wooah”. We thought he meant time. That dude broke our minds! Haha

We pretty quickly realized he was talking about the herb, but it was so funny that we all had the same reaction. Definitely a memory I’ll never forget :rofl:

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I was sitting at the activities desk yesterday handing out ping pong paddles and basketballs and left this note for other employees…
image

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Did you hear Fedex is merging with UPS?

They’re calling it FedUps.

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A few that always made me laugh as a kid:

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a blind buck? No-eyed-deer

What do you call a blind buck with no legs? Still no-eyed-deer

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How does a train eat?

It chew chews…

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@Yoyosampler These are gold. Thank you! I will have to steal these and use them often.

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60

How come the calendar maker got fired? He took a few days off!

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Two antennas got married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was awesome.

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Top notch dad joke right here^

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The circus has been training elephants to play basketball.

They taught them how to slam trunk.

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