8 Likes
its kinda like crushing soda cans⌠its soda-pressing
9 Likes
Just forwarded that to my dad and brother!
2 Likes
Iâm sure yâall all heard this before but this is the only one I could think ofâŚ
Why was 6 afraid of 7
(Here it comes) 
Because 7 8 9!
5 Likes
Jeez dad 
Youâre embarrassing me
5 Likes
Follow @codinghorror link above. Here is one from the link:
How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. Like all animals, it is an automaton, driven by blind genetic imperative, marching slowly to oblivion.
6 Likes
French Rupture by Jaques Tootight.
English Rupture by Lord Howard Hurtz.
4 Likes
Iâm sorry, my son, I will stop.
5 Likes
See now thatâs just funny
3 Likes
Husband: im organizing the herbs alphabetically now.
Wife: why, where would you find the time?
Husband: thats easy, next to the sage
10 Likes
Funny story kind of related:
I was in the produce section at a grocery store in Northern California one time, and there were probably about four random people all in my direct vicinity within earshot.
Some random dude walks up to us and asks a general question to all of us:
âHey, does anyone know what thyme looks like?â
All of us paused what we were doing and kind of stared off like âwooahâ. We thought he meant time. That dude broke our minds! Haha
We pretty quickly realized he was talking about the herb, but it was so funny that we all had the same reaction. Definitely a memory Iâll never forget 
6 Likes
I was sitting at the activities desk yesterday handing out ping pong paddles and basketballs and left this note for other employeesâŚ
2 Likes
Did you hear Fedex is merging with UPS?
Theyâre calling it FedUps.
7 Likes
A few that always made me laugh as a kid:
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
What do you call a blind buck? No-eyed-deer
What do you call a blind buck with no legs? Still no-eyed-deer
13 Likes
How does a train eat?
It chew chewsâŚ
10 Likes
@Yoyosampler These are gold. Thank you! I will have to steal these and use them often.
2 Likes
How come the calendar maker got fired? He took a few days off!
9 Likes
Two antennas got married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was awesome.
17 Likes
Top notch dad joke right here^
6 Likes
The circus has been training elephants to play basketball.
They taught them how to slam trunk.
3 Likes