Dad, can you put the dog out?
“HE’S ON FIRE?!?!”
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It’s bad when a dad (of five!) doesn’t get a dad joke.
Wait, are you still hung up on this?
Read the punch line in a Yoda voice
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Why is the letter “C” afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all of the other letters are “not-Cs”
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NOW, sense it makes!
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Lol. I tried that when I first read it but it didn’t click till just now.
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Yeah, and be sure to use the comma.
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What’s a computer that sings?
A Dell.
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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a duck?
Count quackula
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That seems more like a “Mom Joke” to me because I grew up with that from my mom.
“I’m hungry.”
“Oh. hi Hungry. I’m Thirsty!”
She also says, “Don’t try it 'til you’ve knocked it.”
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What did the officer say to the belly button.
You’re under a vest…
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Numerous times.
Yep, that one too.
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What did the cop say to the guy in a skirt?
Put your hands beyond your back. You’re under a dress.
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I bought some shoes from my drug dealer earlier.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
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I just found out that “ARGH” is not a real word.
I cannot express how angry that makes me.
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I lost my mood ring… I’m not sure how I feel about it.
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I just deleted a post. Please keep’em clean. Lots of younger kids on this forum. Thanks. 
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What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, always has 6 letters, but never has 5 letters
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Precisely
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Finally, some Dad jokes I can get behind!!!
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Well that’s flat-out depressing.