Oh I just bought a canoe last week! Friday I bought a 45 lbs trolling motor for it. It is like a 14ft fiberglass and I love it. Took two of our kids out to a local river and had a blast. My wife is going to take our 7 year old fishing next week to get out of the house for a couple of hours.
Problem here is she canāt understand why you need more than one. Last year I sold my tandem and bought a solo. This year I bought another tandem, and kept the solo. She doesnāt understand that itās sorta like having a car and a motor cycle.
5 kids by herself with two of them 2 and under and youāre working on your day off? Itās not the yoyoās. It sounds like sheās burnt out. I suggest that the next time you have a day off, you get a baby sitter (or two if you canāt find one that will take all 5 of your kids) and take your wife out, just the two of you. It will mean a ton to her.
If for some reason, you canāt get a babysitter, then tell her that youāll take the kids yourself for the day and that she needs to take a day off and relax. Go out with her friends, go for a hike, do whatever it is she wants to do. My wifeās a stay at home mom (only 3 kids). If she hasnāt had time for herself lately or time with just you, then she definitely needs it. If you havenāt done so already, you guys should set up a weekly or every other week date night for just the two of you. It will make her feel better knowing that she has planned time where she doesnāt have to worry about the kids and can spend it with just you.
Well I kind of think she is jealous of your yoyos. Iām a lady myself and would be a little jealous if my guy did that. I would say the best thing to do is maybe go on a dinner date at a restaurant of even at home.(when all the kids are asleep) tell her that she means the world to you and even though you love your yoyos, she is always before them. Maybe that is how she is feeling. You donāt know until you ask. You know you canāt read her mind and she cannot read yours. She does not really know how you feel and you donāt know how she truly feels. I donāt know your level of addiction with WOW, but I have a gaming brother, and he is extremely annoying at times. When you get home, make sure to talk to her BEFORE you check on your yoyos. That will just confirm her thoughts about her being second. I can tell you care about her and do not want to fight.I hundred percent guarantee fighting will make it worse. She will think of yoyos as a negative influence. Talk to her.
Thanks for writing that bigkat,
I know she is overwhelmed and to drummeryo thanks for that, but we do talk a lot, and I stopped WOW like a year ago so that is no longer an issue, but it still lingers. She knows I easily get focused on things. It could be video games, it was geocaching for a bit, yoyos now. But it is always as an escape.
We try to have her sister come over to watch the kids once a month or two so we can go out. I think Iām going to buy her a ticket to go see the twilight movie tomorrow night. Give her a night out to see something I know she really wants to see. But yes, I truly believe she is burnt out and the YoYos are taking the heat. She knows they are not horrible or bad, but sometimes she uses dramatic things to get my attention. Iām not a fan of that, but she has threatened to throw my lap top in the pool too lol. Long as it isnāt a kid Iām good! But, she feels she sometimes has to be extreme to get my attention and to focus on the family. Which again, I agree to an extent anyway. I still have to work, I still need to veg, and clear my head, but I do need to focus on spending as much time with her and my family as I can as it is very limited right now.
Now, I do also know that she very much thinks that Iām caught up playing with a kids toy. She watches some of the videos from Worlds and came with me to Worldās 2010 when I first did the lights for it and we brought the whole family to it and they loved it. But I donāt think she expected me to really get into it. Heck, I didnāt expect to really get into it haha. But she was commenting and playing with a friend of mine about me being obsessed with a kids toy and that one of these days Iāll grow up. She also plays around with them from time to time so I know she doesnāt completely hate them. She has a pretty wicked bind and has hit a trapeze a couple of times as well. I love it when she grabs one of my yoyos tries to bind with it. Canāt do it, puts it in the case, tells me it is broke, and grabs another one that she can bind with lol.
Iāve been texting her and wrote a pretty sweet post on my facebook page that I think will work and going to make sure I take tomorrow completely off. Hopefully i can get her sister to watch the kids a little more frequently and arrange my priorities a little different. Thanks for all of the posts and comments. I started this thread as just a fun thing to vent and to see if anyone had this issue before and just to see if anyone would freak out about my title lol. Turned out to be pretty therapeutic too!
This is an excellent idea! Itās probably just what she needs right now!
Just remember that your wife needs that veg time just as much as you. If youāve taken a break to clear your head, make sure that sheās had an opportunity to do the same. If youāve yoyoād for half an hour and your wife hasnāt had any no-kid time, tell her to go relax for half an hour while you watch the kids. Me and my wife used to have regularly scheduled date nights every Tuesday. When the kids were all little and she was working hard taking care of them all day, it was so comforting to know that come Tuesday night, she would get a guaranteed break where she could relax and not have to worry about needing to take care of anything. I would pitch in where I could, taking the kids out while she made dinner or whatever. But man, she treasured those date nights. They werenāt anything extravagant either. Just dinner at the local taco shop. Or if we were tight on money, just bag up some sandwiches and sit at the park. Now that the kids are older, itās not as big of a deal. But when they were all very young, it was huge.
Iām happy to report my Yoyos are safe and sound 
*like
Are things working out better?
If I ever go into a situation like that with my wife(when I marry), Iāll probably just ask her:
whatās the big deal,
why she thinks what she is thinking,
and how I can make it up WITHOUT doing anything to my yoyos.
If she still feels unsure, Iāll get rid of a few.
Keep in mind some realities:
Women, when they argue, do NOT need the following:
Logic.
Making Sense
Facts
I started yoyoing after I got married and we had all the kids.
Looks to me like if you guys need help to work it out, like specialized, professional help.
playing with a yoyo has nothing to do with āgrowing upā, doing what you enjoy doing has nothing to do with āgrowing upā.
being grown up means you are able to take care of business and take responsibility for your actions and I think you do just that.
now if you donāt spend time with her, with the kids, like at all, I can see it becoming an issue and her redirecting it on yoyos rather than just telling you that sheād like you to spend more time with her.
this is a good place to start
But on the other hand, when you got a girl and spend time with her, if during this time sheās always complaining or being negative, Iād understand why youād rather throw.
This looks like a serious issue and you will have to deal with it. Look for help, get an appointment and go there together, work things out. itās always better when a complete outsider (yet professional) gets involved and help you guys realize what the issues are.
if you tell her, sheāll feel āattackedā and therefore will ādefendā, which is also true the other way around. but we are more prone to listen to strangers (for some weird reason) specially if they are not involved in the dispute or with any person.
oh and, WOW is probably THE marriage breaker of the 2000ās, get rid of it for good. I also love MMORPGs but this is marriage poison right here.
My wife was giving me a hard time about the yoyo thing but I think she sees how much I enjoy it and how much it means to me now . The only thing she doesnāt like is the buying of yoyos constantly. Itās hard to make her understand that I have to get the limited edition before they sell out of them. Iām going to stop buying for right now though with Xmas coming and all. Iāve got the throws I want for right now anyway, except for the yye oscilatrix but oh well if they sell out maybe I can grab one up on the bst.
You bring up a good point. Part of the reason this sounds so odd to some of you guys, is that you already yoyo. When I got married 27 years ago, I was a biker. The bikes were already part of the package that she was buying into. Thatās the way yoyos will be for you guys (and ladies). Most of the married guys posting in this thread picked them up (or picked them back up) after we were married. Their wives are not trying to change them, they are dealing with something new.
Hey Gang,
Thanks for everyone writing in! Thanks for everyones advice too! From my end, everything really is fine, we have a great marriage and I feel kinda bad possibly portraying it differently. Like all couples we have arguments and can both get very passionate about things. I understand her and others opinions of a childrens toy. It comes with the territory and very few people, maybe a tenth of 1% actually know what modern yoyoāing is really all about and that it isnāt a childrenās hobby anymore. it is still a hobby, but something that is fun, unique, collectable, (stress reliever in my case) and a community. That isnāt my definition of a childrenās toy. But an all ages activity that can be enjoyed. She does understand it and gets annoyed when I spend several hundred on yoyos when we could be buying other things, but yes, it makes me happy, and if we can afford it then great. She just got a new macbook pro 13" which was 1300.00. So I think Iām still good for a few more yoyos haha. Actually Iām going to buy the new Playstation Vita so. Boys and their toys right
Communication is key and through our communication that I certainly know she is stressed, doesnāt get out of the house much (really doesnāt have many friends or hobbies) she goes to a thing once a month called MOPS (Mothers of pre schoolers) that she loves. I offered to let her go to Twilight last night and I watch the kids but she decided to stay home and doesnāt enjoy really seeing a movie by herself. Which is fine. I think with staying in the house, watching the five kids, not being able to get out, and not having a lot of time to herself and with me recently caused her to be irrational about the yoyos and they were just the easiest thing that should could attack to get my attention. Sure, there are better ways of doing it, but there are certainly worse ways too!
As for the WOW part. I know first hand and my wife knows first hand the troubles of it. My wifeās mom left her husband (my wifeās dad) for a guy on WOW. They are back together now but it was a horrible horrible time and reason enough for me to stop playing. I enjoyed it but took way too much time and I have way too much going on. It would take 3 hours to get anything accomplished in most MMO games, where I can pick up a yoyo go through a few combos sit it down go about my business and still feel accomplished. I think the area that can cause problems is the social media aspect. I absolutely love forums. So I occasionally sit on here and read through things (mostly while Iām at work and can) So even though Iām not playing mmoās I could get wrapped up in the Protostar vs Northstar debate, or why a certain colorway is better than another due to the unintended allure of visual stimulation in connection to the likelihood of landing a certain trick 
But, communication is key in all relationships and having an āoutā or hobby to be able to enjoy I feel is huge for any person to have. It should never replace your relationship or family, but you should have something that excites you as well and gives you another thing to look forward to when times do get tough.
Finally, the corinthians verse, whether you are a Christian or not, is an amazing verse to read and know. It was read at our wedding and so many times have read it again especially when times are rough to remind myself on what true love really is. So many times the media and others get a very skewed version of what it means to love and how to love. Great thread here!
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great post
I think the general idea was to re-establish communication. youād be surprised how many people, me included, are in a similar spot. I have no idea how 5 kids would be, I only have one and heās very independant already.
the important thing here, I think, is to get to the bottom of it, expressing this on your yoyos might just have been some way to get your attention, and it seems to be working. I think the thing is now to get her focused on whatās behind this, the true reason why she came to that end, and deal with it.
I live in a house devoid of communication. Iām intentionally not communicated with.
The one I especially dislike is being NOT told something, held accountable for it, then getting in trouble for not doing the thing I wasnāt told that needed to be done. And then Iām told to open the front door and bring in $400 in new shoes that certainly arenāt for me.
I found out so much more about my wife after we got married. She knew the audio stuff went with the package, yet sheās tried and failed to remove it. She likes the computer stuff, but the market is near death. I mean, Iām out busting my hump to create proposals and do the proof of concept and testing, then put together an proposal to the client that I may have spent anywhere from 200-500 hours on, and then they go bid it out to the lowest bidder and then expect me to do a free installation and configuration on all this stuff.
So, she also doesnāt understand the creative mind. While sheās analytical, I am more creative, but also analytical, which for what I do, itās absolutely necessary. For her work, itās 100% analytical. I can get tunnel vision and my mindset locks on a task, and sheās always throwing crap into the works to derail me and destroy the flow I had going on.
So, if her hobby is buying clothes and shoes for the purposes of returning and exchanging them, then Iām sure this new hobby of yoyo can be accommodated. Iām a live sound production company and I bought myself a Blue Bluebird mic. Itās CRAP as far as live production as it was made for the studio, but itās still a sweet mic that i think has less self noise than an AKG 414 and a better sound, but thatās $300 for something that really doesnāt fit my main business model. I bought a tube pre-amp, and again, it doesnāt fit my model.
Regarding the MMOs: Got no use for them. But thatās just me.
Quick note regarding my vacation with the family in Disneyland:
CONSTANT calls and text messages for my wife from her family.
Back to the topic:
We as people evolve and change. We look for something to latch onto that clicks with us.
My wife doesnāt like to compete for attention. I got my first pug a week before we started dating but already knew each other and were heading in that direction, so the dog has a weekās āseniorityā on her, and I think he knows it. He used to sleep on the bed, which honestly, for a pug, they love it, I liked it, the dog slept mainly ON me, but they shed like mad so really, itās best for pugs to sleep on their own beds. A second pug was gotten after we got back from our 3 week honeymoon, which the motivation was to give the dog something to play with so she could get more attention, which backfired as I had to train the new pug, with help from the existing pug. With 2 pugs trying to sleep on me on the bed, especially with the new one taking forever to settle down, that was the stray that got the booted to the floor.
Having kids didnāt help. It did alter things.
In the end, she has been forced to accept the yoyo into the household. The kids love it, I love it. Sheās no longer complaining. I just have to find some way to get her to get into it. I think she does. Maybe a red ONE is in her futureā¦
Studio42, Trust me when I say donāt try to push her too hard. Weāve had yoyoing in our house for 7 years and mine still hates them. But sheās content that we arenāt out getting in trouble due to alcohol or other stupid things men tend to do.
Oh, donāt worry, I do trust you.
Itās actually her causing many of the bigger REAL problems, like buying shoes over paying the mortgage or sinking same said cash into her parentsā rapidly dying business. I never spend more than I earn, and I make sure we cover the bills. But, when someone āgiftsā $5K/month and we make maybe $6K/month and we gotta buy food and pay mortgageā¦ and I have gear that needs repair/replacement that I could use to help market my businessā¦
Compromise occurs on both sides.
But, like you said, at least itās not wasted on other stuff. I donāt drink, smoke or use drugs. But, I am a gear slut!
Just a bad financial period weāre going through. It will work itself out once the plug is pulled on that business. That will be in January. 2 months is not a lot of time to worry about.
I agree with Icthus,
While my wife doesnāt have an issue with them, then uses them as a stand off, in the end she feels the same way I think as icthus, she isnāt a huge fan, but she would rather me doing that than MMOās or drinking, or partying with friends. As I mentioned before she occasionally picks up one and does a bind or two and puts it back down. She may even attempt a trapeze and then squeal when she hits it and yells at me to make sure I saw it. So it is there, she just knows when she needs to get my attention how to do it. The whole threatening thing. I told her Iām going to get a pink one for her. I posted Ben Condeās Mass States 4a 1st place on my facebook and yesterday was like hey, you gotta check this out, and she told me she already watched it on my page and that it was really cool. So she has an appreciation for it and will probably come to Florida Stateās with me and come to Worldās again (she came for a few hours in 2010.) So she does like it, but also knows that if she needs to get my attention, she knows that she can use that to her advantage to snap me back to reality.
But, I am very fortunate, even more so than most I think, I really donāt have to fight for a lot of the things I get. She was cool with me pre-ordering the new Playstation Vita today. (you can get it a week earlier if you pre-order and pay for it now) So I told her I really wanted to get it and she was like, cool, have at it. (I also kicked her and my 5 year old daughter out of the house yesterday so they could get manicures and pedicures together) So, Iām working on this whole give and take thing to be better at it and spend more time with them. Iām home right now while she is at Whole Foods working on a side project of ours so she can get out of the house and have some fresh juice (we are getting into the whole eating healthy and better kick) so Iām at the house trying not to let it get destroyed and trying to learn the Ship of Theseus trick that a guy named Hans posted on the video section that looks super cool. But I canāt for the life of me figure the transition from the 1 and a half mount to the repeater partā¦Iām such a newb!
I have never understood why this is so hard for people to grasp. I am a big believer and one thing my wife does really appreciate about me is that Iām stupid conservative when it comes to money and making sure things are taken care of and we are not getting things we canāt afford. There are many times she has wanted to get into a bigger house or get a van for the kids and I always pull the plug and say we canāt afford that if we are going to do this, or we can afford that but we are going to need to pull back here and we work together and are almost completely debt free besides the house. Should be that way soon. Just saw that and wanted to commend you on that quote. Just wish the government knew that concept