Wife raged and threw yoyos in the pool - Discuss


#1

Not because there is anything bad in here, it is just that people younger probably are going to have no clue what this is like from this angle haha.

So my wife has been threatening to throw my yo-yos in the pool because of my apparent obsession with them. Today, she has told me that she actually has! As I stated before, I love it but I don’t throw very much. I’ll go a few days without touching it and usually never spend more than an hour with them at a time and that is rare. I think she hates that I’m on the forums when I’m at work Dj’ing or check them from time to time during the day.

Today I was DJ’ing at a 5/3 Bank Community Appreciate Celebration and they have a photographer who took some pictures of me yoyo’ing which I updated my Facebook status with and put one of them as my avatar on here. That seemed to have slapped her in the face hard! I just don’t understand. On one angle I’m very happy and thankful, not for hurting her feelings, but because she cares enough about me that she thinks she is not number 1 and wants to be number 1 in my life. Which is awesome and amazing. (She is 100% by the way) However, of all of the things (kids and adults have stated this) that I could be doing, really? You have an issue with this? Or does it matter?

From a Christian stand point, anything you put before God is a sin, so if this becomes an obsession, no matter how innocent, is that still good? No. But I really don’t think it has become that point. Sure I’ve spent a few hundred on it, but I still pay my bills and have plenty of money in the bank, so it isn’t a money thing. I’m actually very conservative with our finances. I could buy 20 yo-yos right now and still not have a problem making my mortgage, but I’m very careful how much and when I buy yo-yos and even bought a NQP OD Dietz to save money. I used to be obsessed with World of Warcraft and certainly understand that and glad I don’t do it anymore.

So, I’m here at an event an hour and a half from home, fixed the situation with my wife through texts, but still not sure if my yo-yos are 12 feet under or not! I’m pretty sure they are not, but who knows! Trying to figure out which angle I should take this. My first reaction is that if she shows me my yo-yos in the pool or dripping wet, I’m going to show her a receipt for 10 brand new metal yo-yos. But, I don’t want to go there obviously as that would certainly cause a fight. How do others deal with the “other half” when it comes to yoyo’ing?

In all honesty, I just figured this would be a fun topic to get opinions on and just joke around a bit in a light hearted way. I look forward to hearing from others in this R rated conversation :slight_smile:


#2

A more adult topic… oh man yes, count me in.

The christian stand point I’m going to avoid entirely being that I’m atheist. so yeah.

Anyhow - I think it’s really important that we take interest in our loved ones and their hobbies. I always try to do and learn about the things my loved ones enjoy. I’ve been asked “did you really enjoy that play?” and I’ll say “I didn’t love it that much, no but I love you that much.” meaning that I care enough to set aside my own opinions on something so long as my loved ones are finding enjoyment out of it.

As far as your wife being number #1, this could easily be a love language dispute. There are a lot of times in life where we feel that we’ve put someone in a place to be loved and desired but yet they don’t seem to feel the same way. A lot of us get upset about that and it creates a lot of tension which really isn’t needed.

Ultimately, we need to understand that how we feel loved doesn’t necessarily mean it’s how everyone else feels loved. I personally feel the most loved when I’m given quality time from others, be it conversations, traveling together, or just being within their presence.

Others, however, might feel the most loved by physical touch or gifts or perhaps acts of service. It’s important that we discover how others feel the most loved and work to achieve those things for that person, especially if you’re expecting them to meet your needs in return.

Through my experiences, if you discover how someone is loved and work to provide that, then they spend less time worrying about the things you do outside of your direct relationship with them.


#3

There something else going on with your marrage…

You guys need to communicate!

You also might get her involved somehow in yo yoing.


#4

Well… Her pitching your throws in the pool would be very immoral, but I say talk it out, and if all else fails, just agree to disagree sometimes that’s your only option, and it’s perfectly fine… Maybe make a deal where she dosnt complain as long as you spend no more than x hours throwing… Just my thoughts…


#5

well, I’m also married and we went through rough times

my point is, in a marriage one person is supposed to

  • make the other one happy
  • accept the other one how he or she is
  • evolve and do compromises
  • discuss with the other person in case of an issue and solve it together.

therefore I’m with stephosh on this one, there’s another issue in there


#6

Anything that is diverting attention from what should be your main focus (in her eyes) is going to be a point of contention. At least in my experience. I’ve only been with ONE woman who didnt get jealous that i was either, Surfing, yoyoing, or drumming. Because, lets face it, Why would we be doing any of those things when we could be: rubbing her feet, making her breakfast in bed, or telling her how beautiful she is.
Anything else is just a waste of time. LOL. Im not married, but i have had some serious relationships. Seriously though, there has to be some compromise somewhere. Im sure you ALWAYS do what she wants. A relationship is sharing and it doesnt sound like she is doing that.


#7

Because you are 13 you think its funny.

To be honest, maybe there isn’t anything else that is going on, maybe she just really doesn’t understand the whole yoyo thing. Maybe she just finds it to be “a little kids toy” like most people out there. I would just ask her what the deal is with her disliking your yoyo’s and go from there.


#8

this.

I told my wife that I could be out hanging with friends drinking or racing cars or dumping money in other things that could cost more or could do more damage to me. She hard them but lives with it because she knows it makes me happy. Tell her that she wouldn’t want you to tell her to get rid of her favorite thing no matter what it is.


#9

I’m with Mike and Icthus. Are you sure it’s because she feels they are too important to you? The first couple of years I started yoyoing in public, my wife was embarassed by it. She didn’t say anything, but I could tell. She’s OK with it now. After 5 years, they are still a cigarette substitute for me, so if I start throwing more than usual, she just asks me what’s stressing me out. Every once in a while she’ll catch me ordering a couple more and rib me a little about it. I just remind her I’d rather be collecting bass guitars and motorcycles.


#10

One day, it wont be so funny to you.


(DOGS) #11

Though I’m saving the hefty stuff for after college when I have a life together (i.e. when it’s an appropriate time), I have been in some relationships over the years. I felt no wrong in saying that I’m not going to drop everything for them. Let’s enjoy each other for who we are, as opposed to where we go or what we give each other material-wise. I’m still me, and nothing is going to change that for a long time. Neither of us are going to act as a status for the other, or just be a source for material. If everyone has their quirks, and all things are considered, a hobby isn’t that bad.

It’s all about accepting them for who they are and not what they do.

I don’t know what love is. I’m going to put that out there right now. I’m not 100% matured. Someday, hopefully, I will know. In the meantime, I’m at a point in my life where it’s too costly to drop everything I have passion for for another.


(M²) #12

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 4-8


#13

I think that the best decision is to talk with her and find out what is the exact problem. Nothing is easier or more productive then just talking it out with her. Maby she feels neglected or just feels like number 2 and the yoyos are number 1 now. People tend to dislike or hate things that they don’t completly understand so maby that is the issue with the yoyos as well, explain them to her and see if she would like to take it up as well. Again best course of action here is to ask her and talk.


#14

If you were married when you were into World of Warcraft, I’m going to guess that this has something to do with it. I’ve seen how obsession with online gaming can wreck marriages. If your situation was bad, then I could see your wife being afraid that yoyo-ing might bring about the same thing all over again. From her perspective, she might see it as you becoming so involved in this ridiculous activity that it’s affecting your work and has caused you to spend hundreds of dollars on it.

If you’ve bought a few hundred dollars worth of yoyo’s, then to your wife, buying and NQP Dietz really does not look like saving money. Not buying a Dietz at all would be saving money. Selling some of your yoyo’s would be saving money. But buying another $55 yoyo to add to your collection does not look like saving money (by the way, I bought 2 NQP Dietz’s and a NQP Cafe Racer. They’re sweet!)

If it’s a money issue, then you guys need to come up with a budget together. Write out all of your expenses and make buckets for all of them (mortgage, utilities, food, savings, charity, clothes, college funds, retirement, vacation, entertainment, etc). Include personal buckets for each of you. In other words, each one of you gets ‘x’ amount of dollars to spend each month on whatever you want. It could be yoyo’s, comic books, banana cream pies…whatever. But no matter what you spend it on, both of you will know that your financial goals are being met because of the budget plan that you’ve laid out.

Please don’t do this. If she tosses them in the pool, then there obviously something that is really bothering her. Your wife is way more important than your yoyo’s. Find out what’s the problem. Maybe she feels that if you’re doing yoyo related things at work then you’re not doing as good a job as you could be. Perhaps she’s afraid that if you get too into yoyo-ing, it will harm your ability to work and you might lose your job. Who knows? Talk with her and find out what the problem is. If she does toss your yoyo’s out, don’t get mad (well, try your best). Take it as a sign that there is something really wrong that you guys need to figure out to build your marriage. You guys need to work together on this one.


#15

My wife can’t stand anything that competes with her for attention. Including what I do to bring in money.

I mean, she goes to work, gets a salary.

I gotta find the work, I gotta get permission to do the work, I got to DO the work, then I have to BILL for the work and then I gotta invoice for the work. It’s called “end to end accountability”. Self employment!

Or, how about the times when I get a gig. Let’s say I charge X. If the client takes X, then my wife is “You should charge more”. If I don’t get the job at X(for the same work), she complains I charged too much. She’ll also call up clients who have contracts to try to get more money out of them, which loses me the contract. Hence, I’ve gone all digital via secured partitions on a secured server in a secured location that requires a token, certificate and randomizing WEP key tied to my Radius platform. I delete my phone logs so she can’t harrass people.

She’s complaining about the yoyo stuff. I said “fine, no yoyo, no disneyland”

I’m at Disneyland right now. Guess who won? Score one for men.

This is a woman who has pumped hundreds of thousands of dollars into her family business and her parents’ house and car. Oh, car gone. House went into foreclosure. Business is dead but they won’t pull the life support plug, and we almost lost OUR house over this. She’s also trying new tricks to control what my income is so she can filter more into bad business ventures.

I’m gonna buy some more yoyos after I get back just “because”. Well, partially because I gotta get some of my Christmas shipping done.

Anyhow, back to Disneyland. Crowded! Wife not happy, she doesn’t like the crowds now that she’s seen them. I like the lack of crowds since we started off-season visits.

But, back to yoyo. I think my wife sees how they do help me unwind, relax, de-stress and take the edge off my depression. I don’t throw that much despite the large collection. But, i’m trying to throw more, especially now that 2 of my kids want to do it at the same time. It helps.


#16

Hmmmm, yoyos, canoes - all the same here. :wink:


#17

Your wife sounds like she has some problems. She needs too realize you love her, I think there is going too be nothing but fully groveling at her feet day in and day out for the rest of your life too please her. If your into that then do it, get rid of your yoyos, and just clip her nails do her hair, and buy her anything she wants take her every where when and for what reason she feels like.
Sounds like she wants a worshiper not a husband where both of your interests should be equally respected.
I know a lot of people are like that but even on the christian point sounds like she wants too be a head of god, or treated as one.
I really can’t imagine living with someone so easily threatened by me having fun.


(ed) #18

wow.
i’ve known my wife since 11th grade (hit her with a frisbee on the 1st day of school). we’ve grown up together, and she’s seen me pass through all sorts of silly obsessions. some of these have been more ‘come & go’ (bouldering, disc golf, painting - lol) and some have stood the test of time (yo-yo, aikido, skateboarding, surfing, music). she’s a human being and the one i’ve dedicated my life to at that, and when i ignore her when she talks to me or give more attention to my interests than i do her, of course she gets upset (as she should). but i’m extremely thankful to be with someone who encourages me to be myself and have varied interests which don’t involve her.
she’s not into yo-yoing at all (and probably thinks it’s pretty frivolous and silly), but we have a ‘yo-yo room’ with hundreds of yo-yo’s on the wall. doesn’t care for either bass or ukulele, but we’ve got a music room with collections of both. she’s never skated, but doesn’t roll her eyes when i go rip up the cul-de-sac for an hour.
she works harder than i do (she’s a doctor; i’m a teacher) and doesn’t have many interests outside of hanging out with friends and running, so i’m kind of surprised she’s so tolerant of my myriad pastimes. we talk a lot, and she knows that i find fulfillment in all of this stuff, even if it’s obscure to her. guess i just got lucky.


#19

well my son loves it and my wife is wanting me to teach my son my skills. i’m more than happy to pass on everything i know.


#20

I would have never thought this thread would have been this popular this quick. Wow, haha. Thank you all for your comments. I’m sure I made things a lot worse tonight. I own my own company like Studio 42 called NVision Productions an entertainment production company which takes up a lot of my time, but I’m also the sole bread winner. She is a stay at home mom as we have 5 kids. She builds web pages on the side and is very talented as a graphics designer. Part of the problem is that I do work a ton. Anyone who has ever tried to run their own business knows how time consuming it is. I’ve also done it by myself for 7 years now. I’m very fortunate, very blessed that I can support my family doing something that I love.

Problem tonight is that I DJ’d at Universal Studios (orlando) last night at the Red Coconut Ultra Lounge from 8pm to 2am, then woke up at 6:30 to drive to Tampa to DJ a 5/3 Bank grand opening from 9am to 2pm. Then we went over to my Step Dad’s house to celebrate my daughter’s 1 year old birthday. (She turns 1 tomorrow) Then as we were wrapping up I get a call asking if I could come in to Disney and cover a DJ at Planet Hollywood tonight. After I promised I wasn’t working tonight. However, they are needing someone two nights a week and paying $400.00 for those 2 nights a week. Not bad for week night work and a total of 10 hours a week. So, now I’m her at Downtown Disney at Planet Hollywood DJ’ing till 11pm. On a night I was supposed to be off. I hope nobody takes it as bragging, because I’m not well off, but I have been able to provide a comfortable life for my family to the point we don’t live in a huge house or anything but comfortable where if I want a yoyo I buy a yoyo, if kids need clothes we get clothes. I’m paying $75.00 an hour for a speech therapist for my 2 year old with autism. So, I know work is a big part of it but she understands that I have to work to make money, but I do need to learn to say no more.

As far as what one person said about YoYo’ing on the job. I only do it at events that I know it is cool like the bank grand opening they loved it as it added extra entertainment. I’m on the boards while I’m DJ’ing because it gets really boring sometimes and some posts like this one, is taking me a half hour to write just because I’m jumping from song requests, to birthday shout outs, to message boards.

As I think I mentioned, don’t remember now. When I’m working or doing contracts, or selling events, and planning and other things that I am involved in, I often need a release. I used to turn to video games (WOW) to clear my head and now I’ve gotten into yoyo’ing. So I’ll work for a bit and then just get up and throw from 15 minutes and get back to work. My wife things that if I need a release I should call her, spend time with her, and I understand that and agree with that. But often times being that we have 5 kids and there is constantly something crazy going on, that it leads to more stress than stress release. Now to her defense and since we do talk what she has said is that as a stay at home mom she is constantly stuck in the house, hard to get out especially when I’m running all over central florida doing events, meetings, and so forth. Also, with 5 kids it is super hard to get baby sitters. If 5 wasn’t enough one with autism means that mainly only feel comfortable with family watching the kids.

In an effort not to go over the limit here, We do talk. It is a number of things most of them very valid, as it is just tough right now. But we both are still madly in love with each other and work very hard on our relationship. There are just breaking points and from time to time my yoyos get threatened. However, I did buy a rose to give her…but I am now at work and can’t give it to her :frowning: Blah. I think I have rambled enough for right now. I have another 3 hours before I know if I still have a yoyo collection. I think what I’m more upset with right now is that I grabbed my protostar beater to take with me today. I should have grabbed my 54 or my Dietz! Why!!!