I haven’t posted in a long time, but wanted to post about my recent experiences and feelings.
Being in my late 30s, I have very little time on my hands - so you’d imagine the ability to socialise online with like-minded people would be great… However, I always find I struggle to engage and be apart of these communities. I tend to drop out after a week or so.
I don’t know why it is; something just doesn’t click and I check out of engaging. The downside, it makes me feel seperate to the community, especially for someone as niche of throwing.
Being based in the UK, Wales, I know there are throwers about, however I don’t really have the time to travel to socialise with those people - so again, you’d imagine online communities would help.
I’ve always felt socially awkward… And maybe this is part of the issue. I know I’m the cause of my own annoyance in this situation
As a causal adult thrower, keen to hear about other older casual players experiences and how they engage with the community?
I’ve struggled on and off with socializing in general. I can fake being an extravert but my social battery drains quick and I pull away rapidly once it does. I don’t have a whole lot of folks to socialize outside of work or stuff I do with my kids so the YoYo community is my safe space to interact with people I often could refer to as friends and make attempts to go to contests and even help run a yoyo club in my area to keep my ability to socialize on my terms a thing.
I’ll admit I’ve struggled a few times and honestly considered not logging in and just disappearing a few times but this community is very endearing and I enjoy chatting with most every yoyoer I talk to
Not everyone’s experiences with socializing is as it is perceived in forums or any social media. In my experience socializing takes practice like any skill. As with any skill mistakes will be made when practicing. As with yo-yo do not get discouraged keep at it and eventually you will become comfortable with the time you have to devote to yoyo and socializing skills.
I hope this is received well and your journey becomes more comfortable.
You asked for advice from older people in the community there are plenty. I am 54 hope that qualifies hope the advice helps.
Many will have good advice.
I guess the purpose of the post is just to understand my actions a little (as well as others) - but also, I realize I don’t get to share my passion / interest with others, which I think effects motivation.
im gonna second this…frankly I’ll third and fourth it well. I’m like yall are describing, very introverted, able to fake it and get through, but tire easily and quickly. i also just plain don’t like a lot of ppl. yoyo has def given me a way to open up, but the biggest thing for me has been making a career change. i used to work in clinical settings either one on one or in small groups. i then did electrical work while becoming a new dad and worked by myself most days due to being the company’s service tech. on days when i did end up on construction sites, i just put headphones on and kept to my work mostly. im currently in the process of switching careers and am working on a certification process and while i go through that I’m driving uber cuz i have a munchkin who has grown fond of eating and sleeping indoors. this forces me into situations where i have to converse with ppl. some ppl want me to be the shut up and drive guy and I’m good with that, but a whole lot of ppl like to chat. I’ve found that as I’ve been forced to engage with a multitude of different ppl in a closed confined space, i have seen exponential leaps in my social skills. it 100% requires practice…and understanding that the vast majority of ppl are just regular folks doing regular stuff, just like you…cept that guy who kicked off a 45 min ride by announcing he had just gotten out of prison for murder in that moment my life’s path diverged in my wood, and i buckled up and said yolo and rode with a murderer and had one of the wildest conversations I’ve ever had with another human being
(pls do not try this at home. similar results cannot be guaranteed)
I’d like to just chip in and say, my socialising skills are fine - I socialise easily when I need to. I work in a job which requires speaking to people all the time.
My original comment is more around “wanting” to engage in communities, but not, to my own detriment.
My observation while participating in various online message-board communities since the late 90s is that people come and go, and if an absentee is mentioned it is out of concern for their well-being. I have never seen someone shunned for dropping out and re-surfacing.
OTOH, the emergence of social media and the intrusion of algorithms has added a lot of pressure to perform. Remaining relevant (or be seen at all) on certain platforms (even to direct contacts), is a never-ending grind.
The few Discord servers I visit seem geared more towards constant engagement. After being away for even a day it becomes practically impossible to catch up with the conversation.
I can believe that people have very different experiences with any of these platforms. Discord is pretty customizable and open-ended. Hashtags can help on IG.
But as for staying up-to-date and connected at an enjoyable level without having to curate my experience or deal with platform or community pressure to participate at any particular level, it’s YYE for me.
Oh by the way just to let you know, if you have not noticed yet… sharing you are in the U.K. will get people sharing all kinds of stuff too make connections with you.
For example I live in Oklahoma City , Oklahoma with my Wife and kids, my Wife is from Dorset, Melbourne Port I know that is a bit away from Wales but connections.
I’m well into my 40’s and a full-time single father of two young kids and have a full-time career. Despite needing an outlet and community for my own well being, my time and energy is really limited, so being a regular part of the community has been hard for me too.
I lived close enough to go to the last day of the US. National YoYo Contest last year and Northeast Regionals this year and really enjoyed it. Although I did feel horribly out of place, especially when I saw players whose videos I’ve watched again and again because they were so much younger than me. I didn’t want to be strange middle aged guy who tries to hang out with people much younger than him.
I would have loved to chat with Andre a little bit, but beyond saying hi and thanking him for his tutorial videos and such I felt awkward (which I know is completely my own shortcoming.)
Everyone I’ve interacted with online and in-person has been friendly and super-welcoming though.
I feel you on this one… I’m 49 and feel really out of place in the sea of younger people. I feel like all the parents are looking at me like I’m trying to lure all the kids to my van for free candy…
I wish I could share yoyoing with my elementary school age kids, but my daughter has no interest or patience for it and my son has some special needs. Plus I would have to constantly watch out for your candy van😂
I felt the way you describe for quite a while when I was getting back into yo-yos, I had always played fixed axle and all that. The thing that really opened things up for me was simply reaching out to get info or help with what I was interested in.
After watching How To Be a Player, I wanted to learn how to throw tops. There is not a huge spin top crowd in the US Got a ton of help on forums, ended up going to Worlds to watch and meet people in 2010, and it really helped me feel much more connected than before.
If you can make it to an event or even just connect with folks about a specific style of play, it can open doors and get you feeling more a part of the community.
in that moment my life’s path diverged in my wood, and i buckled up and said yolo and rode with a murderer and had one of the wildest conversations I’ve ever had with another human being
