In Need of Big Advice

General Yo-Yo
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Allow me to introduce myself:

My name is Gabriel Cabral. I have been Yo-Yoing since 2013 and attended my first contest in 2016. I fell in love with the sport since the very beginning when my brothers pulled up a video showing the World Yo-Yo Contest happening in 2006 and it was showing Hiroyuki Suzuki’s freestyle. Didn’t get started until I was a freshman in High School. Got hooked when I actually landed my first Trapeze in 2013 and progressed learning more tricks as years go by. 3 years later I decided to go ahead and compete. Didn’t think this through because I decided my first competition was gonna be in Worlds which was taking place in Cleveland. Competed in the Wildcard, did terribly and nearly broke down. Still continued learning more tricks. 2024 goes by and I competed again. It was a bit challenging to arrange because I was in the Navy at the time and got an approval to take leave to compete in Worlds again that was happening in Cleveland as well. Did terrible again also almost broke down. Here’s something I forget to mention is the fact I have pretty bad anxiety. I was too scared to even interact with anyone at every YoYo event. I felt as if I didn’t feel accepted into this community and I just shut down. But that’s just me overthinking. It didn’t help the fact that it affected my performance dealing with such stage fright. 2025 hits and so far I did two more contests. One being in Virginia and another being in NER (Which just happened a couple days ago as I’m typing this). I still struggle to interact with anyone. I do remember having short conversations with a selective amount of people but a lot of times I don’t know what to say. What I’m trying to put out is this: I love YoYoing, I love the sport and I love the community that’s involved in this. But my struggle to also get involved is what’s getting in the way and I’m a full on introvert. I feel this is my best way to open up and I’d love to know what your guys’ thoughts about this and how to go about it and what your guys’ input on what I should do so I don’t end up in this loop of showing up and then feeling bitter afterwards. It could be brutal for all I care. I am willing to listen. That is all I have to say for the time being.

-Gabriel Cabral

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Hey if I’m ever at the same contest at you you’re always welcome to hang out.

First step if possible try to join a club if one is near by. In Va there are several and all over the US.

If you go to a contest let folks in here know you’re going. I’ve shared my number with folks and made sure to meet up with people in person and I think it really helps when you can put names and faces together and even if your not feeling the chatting just showing off what you know in company can feel rewarding.

No pressure ever. Do whatever it is your comfortable with but know there are plenty here that are super into just chilling and enjoying yoyo

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Welcome to the community :slight_smile:

What you’ve just done is a huge start. Keep posting. Talk yoyo with us. Post videos in the trick of the week thread.

Then when you next do an in person event, it won’t be such a big leap.

Hang in there and hang out with us friend :white_heart:

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The nice thing about yoyo contests and the yoyo community as a whole, is that it’s so relatively small and chill that you can approach pretty much anyone super easily, including major pillars of our community even. I’ve found that everyone is super friendly and is willing to talk with you, even if they’ve never met you before. Starting up a conversation in this community is as easy as “Yooo that trick was sick, what was that?” or “Hey, that yoyo looks dope, what is it?” and then you’re off to the races. Use that as your “in”! If you keep in mind beforehand that most people are approachable and willing to talk about their yoyos and tricks, or any number of things yoyo related, you’ll have a much easier time. Full disclosure, I’m about one of the most extroverted people you’ll probably ever meet at a contest, so I’m sure that’s easier said than done, but I think your mindset going into it is everything. And Brandon has a great suggestion with the club aspect, I’ve been going to the club near me religiouslyyy for like 4 years now and I’ve made tons of yoyo friends that way. Highly recommend. I’ve seen so many people really come out of their shell, simply by coming to club more. And the other thing I’ve noticed for sure is that MANY yoyo players have social anxiety, and I’m sure that’s one of the reasons those people are drawn to the hobby, because it’s mostly just us in our living room banging out tricks. So if you keep in mind that so many others are in the same boat as you, it makes it a lot easier. If you ever see me at a contest (I’ll be @ Nats!), I’d love to hang with ya, and like mikeydoe said, make friends here so it’s less of a leap and you already have a built in friend group. And as far as doing well in a contest goes, just keep in mind that pretty much the only thing MOST people remember walking away from it is the top 3. And at one point, those top 3 were exactly where you are now. Always feel free to reach out to me or just make a post here if you want to talk yoyo, or whatever! :call_me_hand:

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maybe start small. maybe trying to connect with the whole community at once at the same time as trying to deal with the stress of competing is too much. take a step back and try taking more manageable bites. start with reaching out to a couple of ppl here and just make a couple yoyo friends and build from there organically. there are plenty of ppl willing to chat and share and theyll. even tell you so as you participate in conversations here. heck im willing to chat anytime! just shoot a dm if you feel like it. but i think if you can mitigate the stress levels and pressure, you can ease in at a pace you are more comfortable with

good luck, be patient with yourself, and just remember a lot of us also are introverts and are coping with the same insecurities. you are among friends here and you are welcome and loved. we see you homie :call_me_hand::victory_hand::vulcan_salute:

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Courage, Honor, and Commitment! Thank you for your Service.

Courage! This message is the START.

How do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time.

I applaud you for jumping in with both Feet! Again Courage.

Others have mentioned great starting points. I would like to reiterate some…

Just hanging out and chatting here, you will get to know people. I have made some amazing friends in this forum. Most I have never met in real life.

But when the opportunity arose to meet one in real life, it was not awkward for me at all. @GnarlyCharlie can chime in on his side. But meeting him in person felt like we had known each other for years (Technically, we did). I may have been a little forward and asked him for a hug right away.

This to say, maybe someone you establish a good report with, might be at a contest you are going too. The ice breaker, uneasiness, is already in the past. Now you relive memories of known conversations and actually get to play in person.

As stated, there are a lot of introverts in this community. Most of us don’t judge. But as a “Team” we can work on it. Extraverts like me and @Splizacular have no problem enCouraging you and supporting you.

Another encouraging story is @Yodaddyo . When we first started “Chatting” he was very stand offish. This gentleman has grown so much in the past couple of years. So much so that he started posting videos and actually has sponsors. Better believe he is getting a hug when we meet up. (Fair Warning Sir. You have time to prepare yourself now.)

This community is amazing! Love and Support is everywhere. The hard part… where Courage is needed… allow yourself to jump into this with both feet. Or not, dip toes, it will all go to the same place.

Good Luck Sir!

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Haha was not even a pinch of awkwardness. Just felt like I was meeting up with my buddy (which I was).

Can’t wait to meet more of you fine folks! Next time I travel east I’ll definitely put out a call to whomever wants to hang too.

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One of the things I would suggest is to volunteer at Contests that may not be too far away(travel-wise)

Make it to a Contest and then seek out the person in charge of coordinating the Event.

Ask if there are any duties they could assign you?

Tell the ‘Shotcaller’ you love just about everything yo-yo related… but you get really anxious around others.

Maybe you can shake a few ‘butterflies’ if you could ‘step in to the shallow end of the Pool’.

It is just a reality that more often than not, helping out at any kind of Event allows you to meet people in a more casual setting and not feel as intimidated as standing in a circle of yo-yo players that may unintentionally speaking yo-yos at a higher level and leave you feeling helpless because you don’t have anything to add to the conversation.

It’s a tough thing to be in a room of people and feel like you are the only one who knows you’re there.

One of the hardest things to do in life, is meeting people directly, face to face. For some people it’s nothing. They don’t even understand the word ‘shy’.

For others, it can be the Start of a Serious Anxiety attack.

Communication skills is not much different than yo-yo skills. It is, like many things, you just need to practice.

So.. if you can’t Jump into a Contest without having a Spaz attack…. Then, you blend into the Contest by offering to help…

You can do it….

PS… Something else to consider> You need to change the direction of your focus /preoccupation. I understand it can be much easier to say, than to do.

If you are gonna go to a Yo-yo Contest in 2 weeks, don’t start worrying about how anxious you are going to get/be…

Remember this…. 90 percent of things people worry about and not worth the trouble. And the other 10 percent, are most likely things you can’t really control, so the worry factor is pointless.

Like the others replying in this thread already mentioned, you are headed in the right direction by speaking your mind. You can’t begin to find a solution until you identify the problem.

If you have the willingness to learn yo-yo tricks, than you need to utilize that same kind of energy to practice your communication skillset.

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Cody’s statement here says more than he realized. Im actually not an extrovert at all. I’m extremely introverted and have battled crippling shyness my whole life. I’ve always had a painfully hard time even just breaking ice with others, and even when i did i learned to keep quiet because then i wouldn’t accidentally be super awkward and weird. i certainly NEVER saw myself doing things Iike having a youtube channel, helping with trick thread, and being mistaken for an extrovert

the fact is that i have felt so welcomed and a part of the community that i can be myself and be outgoing in a way and to a degree that I’ve never been in any other community. this is a safe space and you can find an amazing home here and amazing ppl. also Cody is too humble to say so, so i will. he started Yoyo Boomer Club and has given many of us an extra place to connect and it is the most welcoming place on the internet so make sure you stop by and have a chat! and remember Boomer is a state of mind :grin:

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As Cody mentioned, I am an extremely introverted person, unless I’m in a weird mood, which is very rare. It took a long time, but eventually posting and interacting got easy. Although, I will admit, It’s still not always easy. As many here can attest, I’m sure, I will sometimes go days before responding to a message :sweat_smile: but, I think, if you stick around and interact some, you’ll find that this is one of the most supportive and accepting communities you’ve ever experienced. Unless you’re a jerk, obviously. But even the jerks usually get a chance to stop being jerks before they’re completely “unaccepted” by the community.

It sounds like we have a lot in common as far as dealing with anxiety, not being social, etc. I feel like interacting with this community has helped me a LOT with all that.

Also, competing isn’t the only way to connect and be accepted by the community. I’ve never even been to a contest and have 0 desire to ever compete. I might try it out some time, but it’s not the driving force behind my joy for the hobby. And l feel like I’ve been well accepted by the community. I’m sure there are people here that don’t care for me or my content, but they’re not the people I make it for, so that’s fine. I think this was a really long winded way to say, maybe competing isn’t for you and that’s okay! You should do what you enjoy, and to me, it doesn’t sound like you enjoy competing. You could do like I did and start posting yoyo content. There are people that connect by making yoyos, some by compiling info on various yoyo companies, contests, players, etc., some by making merch or accessories. @Bobparty made his original mark on the community by doing player interviews, and now he is sponsored as well as being the literal Beefhook Queen, all hail!

My best advice is follow what brings you joy. People love joy. If they see that you’re enjoying, they’ll enjoy. Best of luck to you! I’m sure I speak for almost anyone here when I say, my inbox is always open. I love talking yoyos or anything else. I encourage you to reach out!

:joy::joy::joy:

Ive been so jealous of you and Charlie and your IRL hug :rofl:

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I’m actually an extremely introverted person as well. The first time I posted a trick video online I wanted to throw up, same with my first player profile.

I’ve made a ton of friends, and I don’t regret any of it - but as has been mentioned you gotta make that first awkward step lol. Which you kinda just did!!!

Go to a yo-yo club, I made some friends at mine, post online and comment!!

@Yodaddyo you and I have talked about making some video calls - maybe we should do a weekly zoom for whoever wants to join?

@GCabral21 I’m happy to talk whenever you want!!!

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I totally relate. It’s hard to push yourself to talk to people you don’t know. To me it feels like jumping into a pool, but you don’t know until after if the water is fine. For me, I can try to talk to people but then often afterwards I deal with analyzing how the interaction went and whether or not it went well. It’s also hard to keep up with more social people in conversations involving more than one other person. It helps to remind myself that not everyone is going to click with everyone else and a lot of people in yoyo have known each other a long time and will likely have interactions that you can’t expect to have if it’s your first time talking to them. Thankfully, particularly in yoyo, there are social people who have a way of making anyone feel good/heard etc and they seem to be on the lookout for those of us less comfortable.

One thing I always think about is how some communities have signals and structures for getting people who are shy talking and how that could be implemented in a fun way. Spitballing, but let’s say at a contest registration table, you ask attendees if it’s their first, second or third contest and give them a button that says so. Seems like an easy conversation starter. Or even a button that says “I’m new here” which could signal people who like to talk or teach to approach them.

I like the advice above about volunteering at a contest or finding a local or virtual club also so you have some people you know already to talk to if you’re at a contest and hopefully they’ll help you meet new people as well.

Just know that you’re not alone feeling anxious or isolated even with people who also love the hobby you love. And as BobParty said, this is a good first step.

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Where are you located? We can help you find a club.

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Hey guys it’s me again and WOW~! I didn’t expect to get this much support off of this. I read all of your guys’ comments and it really opened my eyes on getting a grasp on what to expect from the community. I would love to get involved more I just need to break out of my shell. Just to let you all know more about me I am 27 years old and currently residing in California, MD. So it’s on the southside of Maryland. So please if you guys have a club that’s closest to there I would love to be involved around there at some point and hopefully I wouldn’t have to drive as much. I was super tired when I arrived in New Jersey driving for 5 hours including the traffic. But who am I to complain. I wanted to attend Nationals but unfortunately a good buddy of mine set up a wedding date to the day Nationals was happening so I had to decide in between. I would definitely want to go next year if I have the chance. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy competing it is the mentality I have that is getting in the way of wanting to perform well. I may need to switch up the mindset. My goal isn’t exactly to win, it is to at least be able do enough to qualify and have me thinking “I think I did alright!” So again I appreciate your guys’ input and I will keep that in mind the next time I go to any Yo-Yo event. For me it doesn’t matter if it’s a big or a small event. As long as I can enjoy my hobby around the others then it should be a good time. In case you guys are wondering what I would do Non Yo-Yo related, I collect retro games. I am currently collecting Dreamcast games for the time being as I grew up playing it when I was very young. Hope this consolidates the replies you guys have given me. My fault if it didn’t.

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I think the DMV club would be closest to you @Captrogers is very involved with that one, it’s a shame there used to be a cheasepeake contest that was pretty close to you but that is done for now :confused:

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Hopefully at some point there would be another contest in Maryland. Because I would not hesitate to go.

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Here’s one of the tricks that I wish I landed on stage.

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Ahh you’re on the far end of the other side of the Potomac. Sadly yeah that’s a good two hour drive one way to Arlington and I doubt the Baltimore club would be any easier.

I do hope to get a dc area event going but life gets in the way.

Hope to see you at the next area contest.

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Heyyyy maybe on the next meet up in Arlington I’ll show up

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Every 3rd Sunday and we may have a special thing end of May. Not sure yet.

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