I don’t get the joke oh well
OH! I just got it!!! haha, that’s funny stuff right there. ;D
Oh okay, I wasn’t sure if that would offend people or not. I really like that one two, I heard it at church.
A blond just got her pilots license. She is going to fly her first helicopter with passengers. When she is about to get off the ground, she turns off the engines. Her co-pilot asks “What are you doing?!?”
The blond says “I was getting cold so I turned off the big fan.”
lol that ones good
2 Pretzels were walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
2 Likes
har har. 
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says
“We don’t allow your kind in here.”
The mushroom responds
“Why not? I’m a fun guy.”
I get it. He’s fun 'cause he’s a hallucinagen.
A man goes out really wanting to buy a horse. The only horse that he can find that is in his price range is an older horse that a christian man owns. Wanting the horse he decides to buy from the christian man. The christian man says okay this is really important to get the horse to go you say hallelujah and to get him to stop you say amen. So the man says okay okay I’m just ready to ride this thing. So he starts out riding across the desert and in the distance sees a cliff coming up. He could not remember how to get the horse to stop. Once he got right on the edge of the cliff he remembered and screamed AMEN. When the horse stops the man thankfully proclaims to the lord “Hallelujah!”
no no no. He’s a “fungi”.
patrickcondon, koenigseggfire and Mr. Yoyoguy all show up at the Pearly Gates at the same moment. The place is just crowded gate to fence with ducks waddling about. St. Peter comes out and say; “We’re a little back logged, you fellas will have to wait out here for a bit. While you’re waiting whatever you do, don’t step on a duck.”
Pat is wandering around taking in the sights and not paying close attention, “QUACK”. Opps, he step on a duck. An angel comes out with a rather unattractive girl and chains her to Pat. “For stepping on a duck you’ll have to be chained together for the next 100 years or so.”
Well this kind of frightens koenigseggfire and he takes a couple of steps backward. “QUACK”. Oh no, he step on a duck too. Out comes the angel with another ugly girl and chains them together. Now Mr. Yoyoguy is very concerned about his future here in paradise and decides to very extra careful. He just tiptoes gingerly between the ducks up next to the fence and vows not to move an inch. Suddenly the angel comes out again and chains a very beautiful young lady to Mr. Yoyoguy. He can’t believe his good fortune. He asks the pretty young lass what was going on. She started to cry and said;
“I don’t know, everything was going so well and then I accidently stepped on a duck.”
Haha, I like that joke even though I am most certainly NOT ugly…
I finally get a beautiful young lady! No more rejection! YES!
I know
Dagnabbit. At least time is subjective in the afterlife.
How flattering.
I’d make a bittersweet retort in name-joke form, but I don’t think the mods will allow it.
I’ll just give you hint of what the joke has: it involves a certain genital, and a steamroller.
And now, some normal jokes
There was a sign on the lawn at the rehab center that said “Keep off the Grass”
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
The normal sized children are delivered by a stork, but the fat babies need a crane
Whats sad about a Cadillac with four black people inside driving off a cliff?
They were my friends.
Can I add a little brain teaser? I will anyway.
1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625
5=a
solve for a
Here’s my shot-
a=3125
Incorrect. Remember, it is a brain teaser, not a math problem.
Pat…this made me laugh so hard…
5=1
DING DING DING!!! Ladys and gentlemen (who were actually paying attention that is) We have a winner!
Lol…this coming from the guy who just misspelled ladies…
But cool problem brain teaser thing!