If I wore an antennae to my wedding would my reception be better?
I bought my daughter a handbag from Iraq.
She said thanks for the Baghdad.
Iāve seen you everywhere I swear!
I think you won the internet today!
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.
People are usually shocked when they find out Iām not a very good electrician.
My 4-year-old daughter has been learning Spanish all year and she still canāt say the word āpleaseā
Which I think is poor for four.
My wife told me to stop stealing the kitchen utensils, but thatās a whisk Iām willing to take
i think itās tine we stop. we donāt want any more deadpan humor
although we donāt have to now, itās best to consider doing so oventually
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef :l
Why was the snowman digging through a bag a carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Should this count as a joke?
Why was the letter āEā the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because all the other letters were ānot Eā
Whereās a facepalm react when you need it
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?
A sit.
What do you call a fly with no wings, no legs and no head?
A dead.
What do you call a letterbox with bootsā¦a stampā¦
The other day my doctor told me Iām going deaf.
Naturally that news was hard to hear.
Did you hear about the new Pirates movie?
Itās rated Rrrrrā¦
