Dad joke thread

I’ve got a joke about retired people, but it just doesn’t work.

5 Likes

Would making nun’s clothing be considered habit forming?

3 Likes

The word incorrectly is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.

6 Likes

If I wore an antennae to my wedding would my reception be better?

7 Likes

I bought my daughter a handbag from Iraq.

She said thanks for the Baghdad.

5 Likes

I’ve seen you everywhere I swear!

I think you won the internet today!

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

5 Likes

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.

5 Likes

My 4-year-old daughter has been learning Spanish all year and she still can’t say the word ‘please’
Which I think is poor for four.

3 Likes

My wife told me to stop stealing the kitchen utensils, but that’s a whisk I’m willing to take

5 Likes

i think it’s tine we stop. we don’t want any more deadpan humor

1 Like

although we don’t have to now, it’s best to consider doing so oventually

1 Like

What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground beef :l

2 Likes

Why was the snowman digging through a bag a carrots?
He was picking his nose.

6 Likes

Should this count as a joke?

Why was the letter “E” the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?

Because all the other letters were “not E”

9 Likes

Where’s a facepalm react when you need it

:man_facepalming:

2 Likes

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?

A sit.

What do you call a fly with no wings, no legs and no head?

A dead.

6 Likes

What do you call a letterbox with boots…a stamp…