9.5/10
I wonder why the serial killer is hitchhiking…
67 
mic drops
4 Likes
Banned
4 Likes
How do you get a forum lurker to become active?
Host a giveaway!
7 Likes
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around…
2 Likes
I turniped the beet around…
…But it was kinda corny.
Where do the bad rainbows go?
Prism.
They get a light sentence.
It gives them time to reflect.
7 Likes
….A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
9 Likes
A man goes to the doctor and has several tests taken. He goes home and gets back to business and life goes on. He watches a calendar each day wondering when the test will be done? Finally the phone rings and he just happens to be next to it and picks it up immediately. Hello with your doctor I have some news for you.
The doctor says I have good news and I have bad news. The man says about a time you called… What’s the good news? The doctor says you have one week to live.
The man says oh my God… That’s the good news?
What’s the bad news if you don’t mind me asking?
The doctor says I was supposed to call you six days ago.
6 Likes
BAD DAD JOKES INCOMING
A man walks in a bar. He said ouch.
A horse walks into a barn. The barn tender asks him why he has a long face. The horse doesn’t reply, because the horse can’t talk.
Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What type of jeans does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim
How do you feel after reading these bad dad jokes? Disappointed, and perhaps annoyed
3 Likes
A sodium atom walks down the street. A chlorine atom pushes him down and then runs off. The sodium atom gets up and runs to a nearby police officer.
Sodium atom: Officer! That guy just mugged me!
Officer: Are you sure? What did he take?
Sodium atom: He took one of my electrons. I’m positive!
4 Likes
I injured myself while measuring radio frequencies.
Still Hertz.
4 Likes
20000/10.
this is hilariously funny
1 Like
It’s not the volts that kill you, it’s the amps.
Though either way, it still hertz
5 Likes
They tried to carve Chuck Norris’s face into Mount Rushmore, but the stone wasn’t hard enough for his beard.
0.000000001/10.
1 Like
Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin under his beard, it’s another fist.
3 Likes
Q: What do you call a dog with steel balls?
A: Sparky
2 Likes
I just realized my jokes are a bit too dark to repeat. So here’s one of my favorite one liner comedians instead:
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
2 Likes