(Sing this like it’s “Be a Man” from Mulan)
Take me to the bathroom, cuz I got the runs,
Did they bring me Pepto, when I asked, for Tums?
It’s the saddest dump I ever met, but you can bet before we’re through,
Somehow I will not die from this poo.
Tranquil as a forest, but a fire within,
Stuck in highway traffic, so you hold it in,
I feel sick, my pants are full of foam, and I don’t know what to do,
Somehow I will not die from this poo!
(Be a man!) It’s coming swift as a coursing river,
With all the force of a great typhoon,
With enough gas to start quite a fire, mysterious as the dark splotch in the pool