I am a victim of bullying. I have been bullied since 1st grade. I was always known as a outcast, always hanging out with the guys. Every friend that I had always felt sorry for me or left me after a year. It got worse in junior high: getting locked in the boys bathroom, having to eat by myself all the time. I started to become a loner,until 8th grade when I met my best friend. When I was bullied, I would always run to her to help me feel better. When I started high school, I was getting harrased more and more when I started to think about suicide. I wrote my first suicide note around Christmastime 2010. I never got around to attempting it, but I knew I wanted to do it. When I turned into a sophomore, things took a toll for the worst. I was bullied worse than ever before, but I met people like me and I became friends with them. I decided that I couldn’t take the bullying anymore, so I transferred schools. I’m now a junior in high school, and I am getting harrassed still by people I haven’t even gotten the chance to know. I know I have friends in the yo-yo community that help with my problems, and I can talk to them about anything. Yo-yoing is my outlet from the outside world, and I’m glad I’m a part of it.
P.S. I have no friends at my new school yet…
Drifting in a pool void of light,
Wafting Thoughtlessly as an insignificant populant
Cementing the Earth, destroying myself, Abhoring others
I search for purpose. I search for self devastation, something to end this lie of a light that can as quickly as it came- dissolve. I lie to myself to ensure sanity. I drift on and spend the end of days in tiresome drudgery
Spliting, shrinking, searching, dying
Eroded from the rock I used to be a part of, I am a black sheep. I am ignored, rejected, Invisible
Sediment
Regrets
Repentance
Pointlessly floating in darkness
Time for contemplation is long gone
The time for laments is long gone
Suspended in the fame
Only the guilty remain
My plight…
To join the miniscule granuals in this penal ocean
I will be sober
Two days from today
If only not
For that bottle of HATE this morning
Sipped it so quickly
And there went my chore
Sipped too quickly to realize
I could have so much more
Travling down this path
Oh love, please come my way
But no
I sipped again
From a bottle of PAIN
And there went my Life-long lore
Only to realize
I could have some more
Dying inside
Just a little each day
I broke out this bottle…
a bottle of DECAY
I took a sip
Anquish has plans
To wash upon my shore
Only to realize
I could have some more
I made friends with my friend’s dusty grave
He had not much to say
So I spoke to the grave stone
I shared with it a bottle of SIN
And made sure
To wipe away that dribble from my chin
My soul so sore
But I will have some more
No goals are set
I live to sit in societies wrath
I took a sip of REGRET
And there rotted my core
Only to realize
I could have no more.
There is everything.
Everything.
Nothing till’ the morning rise
Crisp till’ the night’s fallen’ wake
Plentiful till’ a wood drawn flame
Survive.
Nothin’ till’ tommorrow
But everything next week
Wake come
Soul leave
Death lay a heavenly whisper
Death lay tommorow
But not till’ next week
I wrote this poem to my friend who also attempted suicide. He is crippled now.
I think some people just do not realize how much thier words hurt. Some may just not be sensitive. It is hard to realize that not everyone is as sensitive as you’d like. Once a friend made a joke about my deceased brother. I almost punched him. But in the end you have to just accept other people just do not understand how you feel, and may come off as insensitive because of this. This particular friend has no siblings, and is not particularly close to his parents. When I realized this, I understood that he did not know what I was going through.
One of my greatest inspirations in yoyoing is a boy I met at a camp in Norway. He was Finnish, and his name was Mikko. I had another friend at camp, named Amund. He was Norweigan, and a bit annoying. One day I come into our room and find them fighting, Mikko beating Amunds head against a bed post. I broke them up, but it was still terrible. I am now not friends with either of them because of that incident.
Just a side note, Amund was bullied frequently at the camp. I was bullied a bit at the camp as well, got in a fight with a kid, and almost got kicked out of an international peace camp. The kid I fought with actually did get kicked out. Which sucked, because he was the most popular kid at camp and then everyone hated me. 
Hmmm you know what I relize at my school for guys they just walk up to there friend if there having a bad day and say something like “your stupid” and walk away and there friends again the next day but for the girls a completely different story
It’s pretty sad that this many people are picked on this bad. Even in a small community there are so many people emotionally scarred. People even coming close to killing themselves from it. If you are bullying, please stop. I know I have in the past and I’m not proud of it. I’ve also been bullied and it is not fun. I’m very blessed to go to a Catholic school with a small class where there is not much bullying going on.sure there is a little bit of picking on, but nothing major.
On the other hand, it’s great to hear of people trying to put a stop to bullying. Like what 888alltheway did.
yoyospirit
This is proving to be a very valuable thread for many. Thank you for initiating this thread about such a difficult subject. You have established a setting for voices to be heard and for the wounded to find refuge.
Thank you.
When I was in school I was an overweight kid elementary through 7th grade then I finally realized I was living an unhealthy life and I lost a total of 65 pounds and I am still trying to lose more, but now I am healthier run faster etc. I feel better in general, but the odd thing was I was never bullied. I also acted really tuff plus my size kids wouldn’t mess with me instead they were my friends. Just thought I should share this. I was once that kid that thought I would be overweight my whole life and look where I got with a lot of hard work and determination! If I did it you guys can do it too. God Bless - Moefv
I am on anti-psychotics that make it exceptionally difficult to lose weight.