Official Fur Metal Jacket thread, My side story shenanigans.


#1

Here’s where we are so far, as in My story. I really hope y’all are enjoying this…I love making silly stories. Enjoy!

Now…Happy Story time…There was a little bunny, named FuFu…now, FuFu loved scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head…But one day, the mice built a LASER CANNON, and annihilated NEW-Amsterdam! MWAHAHAAH!

Oh Yes, well…New-Amsterdam’s neighboring region, New-BeaverLand, was quite upset by this act. The beavers quickly formed an anti-mouse tactical squad, and sent them to go and attempt to make a peace treaty with the mice. Well, after many days, they all decided that FuFu was not to blame, but instead Fuzzy Wuzzy was for this crime of Lasering New-Amsterdam. As to how this conclusion came to be, we shall learn in a later chapter. So, Fuzzy Wuzzy was thrown into a state of the art prison, most commonly know as preschool. He was to serve one year here, but they did say they would lessen the punishment if Fuzzy behaved himself.

Next time, in Chapter Two, will Fuzzy behave himself, or will all shenanigans break loose? Find out in the next amazing installment of Fur Metal Jacket!!!

Last time, on Fur Metal Jacket, Fuzzy Wuzzy was thrown in the brig, and now, he must either wait one full year, if he behaves that is, or cleverly escape…well, this is a comedic novel, so it’s safe to assume the latter…But how he does it will blow your mind!!

Chapter Two: I Saw That Coming…Or Did I?

Lunch time was the only time of day Fuzzy was happy, partially due to the fact it was also the preschooler’s lunch time as well. Unfortunately, Fuzzy was forced to do litter patrol as part of his sentence. While cleaning, he caught glimpse of a peculiarly shiny thingy on the ground. Fuzzy went and picked it up, only to realize…GASP, it was the legendary original Blue Eyes White Dragon Yu-Gi-Oh card, in mint condition too! So, Fuzzy put the card in the oh so safe wallet he had taken from the garbage that still had some spare change in it. After Fuzzy had finished sweeping, he began dumping the food trays the kids had forgotten to dispose of. “Suffering succotash…dang kids need to learn to at least finish the food they take…oh well, more for me!” But as Fuzzy began to pick up the piece of corn bread, a magical voice started whispering, “Don’t eat me…I am too metal to die of being eaten! Or actually…now that I think about it…being eaten is pretty metal…” Confused, Fuzzy tears into the bread, only to discover that in it was the Ancient Hand Saw of Guantanamo Bay, believed to have helped many convicts escape unsuccessfully. Realizing what he had just found, he quickly put the saw into his pants pocket, finished cleaning, and quickly ran back to his cell, otherwise known as the Janitor’s Closet.

Next Time, in Chapter three, discover how Fuzzy manages to survive the escape, and how it really happens! Stay tuned for more Fur Metal Jacket!

author’s note
I hope y’all are having as much fun reading this as I am typing it. I have been told my twisted Fairy tale mashups are quite enjoyable by multiple high school teachers. So I really hope y’all enjoy the read. Thanks for reading, by the way. Makes me happy.


#2

Can’t wait for chapter three


#3

Oh, forgot to mention, I shall try, and that’s a big try, to Post more everyday, so again, Enjoy, and read up! Who knows, you might learn nothing new?

And I’m glad you are enjoying it, yoyoer8!


#4

I knew I forgot a chapter from the other thread…sorry about that, folks.

Chapter Three: The Bear Ginger Escape Plan

As Fuzzy was walking through the dinner line, he noticed there were ginger bread men, his favorite past time desert in terms of taste. And then he remembered why he hated them with a fury as powerful as Cthulhu himself. It all happened while baking some at his grandmothers as a wee cub. One of them turned ugly, due to uneven baking, and as Fuzzy was about to eat it, it slapped him. Fuzzy then began punching the ginger bread man, and all shenanigans broke loose from there. After many hours of seemingly endless destruction, Fuzzy had defeated, and eaten, his new-found enemy. But his grandmother did not seem to sympathize with Fuzzy. So she spanked him until his rear was as numb as a dolphin is intelligent. And that’s when Fuzzy snapped back into reality, and thought of a most devious way to escape. Fuzzy then yanked out the Ancient Hand Saw of Guantanamo Bay, grabbed the nearest spoon, and began playing it much like a cowbell. All of the Ginger Bread Men starting screeching in synchronized harmony the same words…“NEEDS MORE COWBELL!!!”
As they kept screaming this absurd phrase, the echoes grew louder and louder, eventually causing the ceiling to start cracking. As everyone began to evacuate, Fuzzy hid in the pot closet.

To be continued…In the next chapter of Fur Metal Jacket!


#5

Oh, ya I remember chapter three


#6

yep, sorry about that…I was having brain farting-itis…


#7

Yaaaaa! Its own thread!


#8

my idea. not bragging just sayin


#9

he’s telling ze truth, thankfully he pmed me with zeh idea, So here it is…still drafting chapter 4, sorry for the wait.


#10

Okay, here’s chapter 4!!!

Chapter 4: Escapades, and whatnot.

It has been three days since our hero, Fuzzy, caused the great collapse of the T. Hank Pre-K and Volunteer Center, and the Media has greatly over-exaggerated every detail of course. “This is Smokey T. Bear with Channel Sixty Nine News, and though nobody was harmed by the massive explosion said to be caused by inmate Fuzzy Wuzzy, many of the victims are now jumping off Death Mountain into Pillow Valley, where for years pillows that are old, used, and stinky have been thrown away by many of our citizens. Fuzzy is now wanted for thirteen cases of public misbehavior, all of them involving him Dancing with a lamp shade over his head, forty two cases of Auto Theft, where he rode the Golf Cart Patrol Unit’s Golden Golf Cart without asking for permission, and fourteen cases of being plain silly. That is all on the Bear Ginger Escape, now back to our daily showing of Yu-Gi-Oh.” As Fuzzy was watching this announcement, disguised as a hobo clown, he reminded himself of how grateful he was that he survived the Chipped Beef special he ate the day before all this happened. “Could be worse…I could be back in another containment facility, but I need not think of such silliness. I need to find Fufu, and kick him in his pantaloons until he tells me why I got in trouble. Bloody jerk.” As Fuzzy walked towards his new destination, the town of HellInAHandBasket-Ville, he wondered when he would be able to go home, and see his love, a 1964 Shelby Cobra Mustang. He was worried about her, for she needed new tires before he was thrown into prison. And thus Fuzzy’s journey home and for revenge had started.


#11

Sorry to necro but darn I miss this thread.


#12

This… Is awesome!


#13

Ya, I wish he still made this. It was really funny.


#14

This… Is by far… The most…


#15

Awesome piece of ridiculousness on Yoyoexpert.


#16

By far one of the best threads ever.


(Erik Kerber ) #17

this was so dumb it was funny i wish there was a chapter five :’( :’( :’(


#18

Wut…


#19

I like this its so creative and silly I like it!! But do more please i must have more of this ridiculousness


#20

I just got back from two weeks out of town, and got my internet at home working. I will post a chapter five soon. I just need time to write it. xD But I will do so since you all asked so nicely!