I found my roommate’s secret journal the other day, and I have uncovered a vicious plot against me! I found the following written:
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I can’t abide my foolish roommate and his incessant yo-yo-ing! I’ve deduced that he does not call it this, opting instead for yo-yo lingo; he’ll say that he’s “throwing.” He should not “throw” anything around the house, especially a piece of aluminium on a string. The other fellows in our house encourage him with hoorays while I seethe with anger at his childish behavior. He does not know how I feel, for I always keep a smile, but I’ll get him, I swear it!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I’ve devised a devious plan! My roommate has said to me that one of the “styles” of “play” in contemporary “throwing” is called “4A” or “Off-string.” It seems that these yo-yo-ing imbeciles have given themselves to endangering the lives of innocent by-standers by “throwing” with the string not actually affixed to that gyroscopic abomination they call a “toy.” I beg to differ on this point, for I have heard that this so-called “toy” was actually a Filipino weapon in ancient times. My roommate assures me that this is just a myth, but my grandfather informed me of this, and he tells no lies, may he rest in peace!
At any rate, my roommate told me that he does not figure that he will ever attempt this “4A” style because he does not think that he would ever be good at it. Well then, I have decided that I will force him into this. I am resolved to sneak into his room while he is in the shower, and I will take the strings off of all of his yo-yos and wind them back up, unattached! Then, I will request that he come with me out to the street to show me a few of his tricks. When he proceeds to throw, my hope is that the yo-yo will go bounding down the street, taking scuffs and dings, and be sullied by the coarse pavement to such a degree that he will not be able to contain his rage. The best part is that I will feign disappointment, but I will know the truth…
This is why roommates suck! What you should do is hide one so he can’t take the string off, go out w/ that one and play. Then the tables will have turned and he would feel as if his plan failed.
it sound unreal because of the way its written then i realized that there is no real reason for you to write it that way. If he ever tells you to come to the street come with a mosquito and throw directly at his male sensitive part and as he’s rolling on the ground say just tell me my yoyoing annoys you! But nothing too harsh. Maybe remove his thumbs preventing him from unscrewing yoyos but not whole hands.(i really hope you know i was kidding.)
Oh yah and remember violence breeds violence. If he feels his cause is just than he will feel the first blow is equaling the playing grounds. Thus you striking back will leave him owing you a strike. Best is to walk up say “whats this?” then say don’t do it
