Its time I say this once and for all, people always want to know, how can one be successful in the yoyo world? What does it take to become the respected member in the community that we all look up to now? The secrets have been hidden, Im stepping out and won’t be silent anymore, I am going to tell you ALL how to do it.
MODS, before thinking of deleting this, read all the way to the end please, haha
1: All this talk about being creative in your tricks and not to copy other peoples tricks? BLEH, The only way you are gonna succeed in this yoyo world we live in is to copy top yoyo players tricks. Not just copy, DO THE VERY TRICKS. Judges look for non originality and focus on a certain few tricks that score well. If you do those tricks, you will score high and the judges will love it.
2: Dont scam? NO! How else do you think the top yoyo players have so many yoyos? They may tell you that they worked hard to obtain them, but this is not true. The secret is to scam, scam like crazy, you will actually find that you gain respect among the community because people will respect your boldness to go out there and scam people out of there yoyos. Its how all those people with crazy huge collections get their stuff.
3: NEVER take advice from anyone. Everyone is out there to be the best and the best only, any “advice” they try to tell you is really talk to just slow you down while they rise to the top. Dont listen to any of the pros. Go your own way.
4: Want to be sponsored? People say dont ask? NO! People who say that want to be sponsored themselves and are decreasing others chances of it. The way to get noticed? PM EVERY yoyo company with your “sponsor me” video. Contact them many times over. Even if they say “no”, don’t listen. They are testing your loyalty to see how much you really want to be part of them, the more they tell you to stop, the more they want you on their team and they test you. Keep at it.
5: NEVER HELP ANYONE. As stated earlier, if you want to make it big, you gotta forget all this helping others business. Its all about YOU. If someone asks for advice, give them bad advice or shun them, do anything you can to make sure that you never help anyone. People will respect you for this as well. Its a good look.
6: Beg for free yoyos always. People want you to beg for stuff cause this shows them that you are serious about yoyoing and have a love for it, Beg often, and watch the free yoyos come your way.
7: At contest, always challenge judges and tell them what YOU think you deserve. They listen, if you think you should get first, tell em. And most likely, they will. If they say no at first, again, its a test to see how much you want it.
8: When you get to try peoples yoyos, DING THEM. This shows that you are superior over the other player and its code for saying how good you are. Others will see this and respect you like a champion. Same for breaking and cutting peoples string.
9: ALWAYS try to distract other competitors at contest when they are on stage. Scream, yell, throw scrambled eggs, do something! This is actually a contest strategy and gets you off-stage points that transfer to your on stage points.
10: Take your yoyoing as seriously as possible, force yourself to yoyo always, dont have fun, this isnt fun laugh time, this is serious stuff, and you gotta take it seriously. Fun and yoyoing do not mix if you want to do well in the yoyo world.
11: Steal yoyos at contest. Its a good way to build up your collection, and people will see you as a bold and courageous person for doing so and it increases your chances of sponsorship.
12: Always have a bad attitude on the forums. It makes you seem like a champ and everyone will love you for it
13: Contest rules, forum rules, they are there to try to keep you away from being respected and well known. This is a test to see how much of a real yoyoer you are.
14: When selling yoyos, never package them when sending them (if you dont feel like scamming) throw it in an envelope and forget about it. This shows you are powerful and reign over others.
15: Hype yourself as often as possible.
16: Put down other peoples vids as much as possible.
And finally
and very much most importantly…
.
17: Do the exact opposite, of EVERYTHING I said.
And you will do fine in the yoyo world.
And if you read through until 16 and you decided to try doing any of those things for real, then you really gotta rethink why you yoyo, who you want to be, everything.
Follow rules, take advice, respect others, do it for fun, don’t be a joey.
Thank you.
J.
