chessey pic-up lines


#1

i seen this girl i liked and said this…

if i was a stoplight,i’d turn red everytime u passed by, just to see u longer 8)


#2

Do I come here often?


(DOGS) #3

stares awkwardly

moves eyebrows obnoxiously

winks, with both eyes


#4

“runs up to her”
poof!.. you have to more wishes


(Raphael) #5

Me: Dear Chloe Moretz Will you marry me
Chloe: What the…
Me (cutting her off): Are you a magnet?
Chloe: What the…
Me (cutting her off again): then why are you so attractive?
Chloe: I WILL MARRY YOU! AAAAAH I’m so happy
Me: I knew it would work

And then… :-* :-*


#6

nice job on the Fantasy life there, Raphael…

Here’s a little trick I learned along time ago in my single days…it never fails…
Never complement a woman on her most obvious attribute…and I’m not talking about her “Ta-Tas”…I mean if she has great big beautiful blue eye’s….DO NOT TELL HER…! “You got real pretty eyes”……tell her you love it when she smiles….great hair…? Beautiful hands…nice lips…? You love her hair up in a pony tail…. woman live for complements….Do not be that “same guy”…with the same line she’s heard all her life….and she will remember you…and if you can get a vibe on what she maybe insecure about….even better….she hides her smile with her hand…bingo…!
And this is a must…if this is a chick you go to school with…or work with…some one you see everyday…new hair cut, shoes, dress….etc…must be noticed and complemented on…so pay attention…
I’m a 48 year old bald fat man with a low paying job…my wife is a knock out… ten years younger than me…


#7

Ehem…

So, you like yoyos?


(DOGS) #8

is still staring


(Raphael) #9

is still making epic kiss face while Chloe awkwardly stares at me


(DOGS) #10

quoted so you can’t fix it


#11

Chloe will eat your face


#12

POOR Raphael

Oh well heres mine You look like a speeding ticket cause all I see is fine fine fine.


(Raphael) #13

Nah, no mistake, she recently played a vampire in let me in. YOu know how vampires roll


#14

me:how are u doing?
her:i am doing good how about you ?
me:doing good now that i am talking to yo

me: hold my stones
i am always smooth like a one drop 54


#15

lol XD


(DOGS) #16

is still staring


#17

I’ve heard some math related ones that I’m not allowed to finish here, but here’s the start If I could be anything I would be your derivative… Somebody who’s taken calculus probably knows how that one ends.


(Raphael) #18

if we go out i don’t want to be your ‘x’


#19

Bwahahaha!

If I could rewrite the alphabet I would put i right next to u.


#20

If I told you, you had a nice body…would you hold it against me…?
I’ll put your portrait on my piano…if you put your tulips on my organ…?
You girls every get drunk in a motel room before…?
I feel like Im in the city…cause you make my hot dog stand….