There are a multitude of reasons that make titanium an amazing choice in yo-yos.
First of all most of them are so expensive that they keep you from wasting money on other things like food and rent clothing, vapor materials, a new iPad, and many other things that you would obviously just squander your money on.
Secondly, if you’re old like me, and you fall downstairs, a lot, a titanium yo-yo will not be damaged and can be used to identify the remains because it’s the only thing that won’t be broken.
Third… Is very important. Especially in the more organic shaped titanium yo-yos. It’s a great trade off in materials for people that can’t really cope with learning new tricks. You can just throw a very hard sleeper, pinch the string, 6 inches above the yo-yo, and then use your middle finger to make crazy noises by flicking it against a yo-yo and amusing yourself by the sound that will captivate you to the degree that you’ll forget you actually bought the yo-yo to try to learn something.
Titanium yo-yos are great in their ability to distract you from performing constructive things when you can just go out to the sidewalk after dark and make sparks with your 3 to 5 or $600 yo-yo. Sparks are so important to make you feel like you have some magical skills kind of like a fire breathing dragon. Not having to buy your own dragon could be money, saving in the long run. Because when dragons are breathing fire, they take up a lot of space, they eat constantly, and their farting can burn the color off your eyes. Being a structural welder by trade, I have the advantage of making sparks all the time without jacking up my expensive titanium yo-yos . Sparking yo-yos to me is overrated because I see sparks all year long.
Titanium yo-yos, have an advantage, if you are very low on the skill level, because if you watch, somebody do an amazing freestyle with their yo-yo that you couldn’t accomplish even in your dreams, you could always just smile to yourself and say well. I bet that sucker doesn’t have one of these ha ha.
Also, if you learned a trick, that might be not even amazing by simpletons terms but to you, it’s an incredible achievement, you can always just stand in front of your bathroom mirror and convince yourself that you couldn’t have done it without your titanium yo-yo, yeah, right…
Titanium yo-yos can also be great as an Ego leveler. I can go on the Internet and watch Isaac casually do an amazing five minutes of highly skilled yo-yo tricks, just standing in his living room, wearing a pair of shorts and a shirt. But those incredible skills Isaac possesses don’t mean that much to me, because I have a bathtub full of titanium yo-yos, so why do I need yo-yo skills? It’s kind of a false feel good thing.
The only drawback is that when Isaac goes to buy a hamburger, he can get a double double with cheese, whereas I only have enough money left to buy a hamburger bun with thousand island dressing on it.
Titanium yoyos can be a great excuse to keep your long game mission intact. They can help keep your enthusiasm up because every time you personally learn a trick you can somehow falsely convince yourself that you could not have done that on anything but a titanium yo-yo. So when you close your eyes and land that double trapeze on your titanium bowl, you know you couldn’t have done it with anything but that yo-yo. That expensive yo-yo. That yo-yo that makes plenty of Sounds when you flick iso when you close your eyes and land that double trapeze on your titanium bowl, you know you couldn’t have done it with anything but that yo-yo. That expensive yo-yo. That yo that makes funny. Sounds when you flick it. That yo-yo that you could use as a wheel stop if you park your truck on an upgrade. You will know in your heart of hearts that you were just so much faster without dragging around the weight of a heavy wallet, because you spent all your money on a single yo-yo. But the titanium yo-yo convinces you that the force is with you and you can party like it’s your birthday.
For me, it’s economical from a medical standpoint. The straight jacket that I wear is only subsidized by the government as long as I can prove that I need it. Otherwise, it’s pretty expensive to lease. The doctors are very skeptical by nature. But as long as I bring a whole suitcase, full of titanium yo-yos to my doctors appointments, it justifies that I am clinically insane, and they extend my free use of the straight jacket.
From a financial viewpoint, buying titanium yo-yos, keeps me on the street and Narrow. It limits my temptation to squander money, and other things.: food, clothes, a new iPad, a new Apple Watch, 10 tanks of gas for my truck, going out to good restaurants and eating, especially extra expensive dessert, going to movies, hanging out with my friends, keeps me from going fishing because I can’t afford to buy bait, definitely forces me to eat smaller portions, and drink water instead of just buy a Coke.
And, it has a magical way of keeping my eyes lubricated. Because when I lean over and cry into a bathtub of titanium yo-yos, when I think of how much they cost me, the yo-yos don’t rust from the teardrops, because they are titanium.
Sorry, I wish I had something negative to say. But I will say this… If you buy 500 yo-yos in the next 20 years and you don’t have one single titanium yo-yo, you’re not missing a thing. They are overpriced, overrated, and more of an item that you buy just to enjoy it but not because you have to have it.
I certainly have enough of them. Obviously, most of the stuff I said above this line is just my low grade humor. But that being said, even though I have fun with my titanium yo-yos, as a learning tool not a single one of them has been any kind of game changer for me. To me, they do not hold any magical handicap in assisting a person to learn a certain trick.
A word of wisdom from your old uncle Mo. Never, and I mean, never feel sad that you can’t fit a titanium yo-yo into your budget. You don’t need one. Technically, you never need to own one. If a titanium yo-yo is out of your reach, it’s probably a blessing in disguise.
Just get a good playing yo-yo, add some enthusiasm, be thrilled with all the money you saved by using the yo-yo you have, and just hang out with your friends or in your own living room, learning some tricks, and not thinking of sparking anything.
And when you go down to the hamburger, joint order a double double and a large Coke and a side of fries… Trust me, you have the money to do it and…. Still have money in your pocket.
On the other hand, if you’re compelled to buy a titanium yo-yo, and you can afford it, you will probably like it. But do you need one?
Absolutely not.
