[quote=“beezy,post:137,topic:45839”]
Excellent point… I think another interesting thing that I see a lot in the community (at least in my perspective) Is that too many adults “friend” some of our younger community members and that borders on creepy to me. I see it a lot on FB and on the forums where the older people in the communty intermingle a lot with younger people in the community… This is very discerning to me as most of the “kids” look up to us as older/wiser people… I notice this a lot at competitions and at yoyo club meets that the kids hang around the adults to feel “cool”. We adults DO NOT need to hang around the kids for the same reason. Or any other reason… I have many friends with children who yoyo and when we are out at events the adults are together and the kids do their own thing (with parental supervison as needed)
Well, this has been illuminating.
I didn’t post that Instagram pic because I have some imagined “vendetta” against anyone other than male yoyo players who make it a point to act creepy to female yoyo players. The fact that it was Brett and Daniel is irrelevant to me. It was a female yoyo player posting a pic, and then two male yoyo players immediately jumping on and commenting in a way that was suggestive and creepy. The fact that it was two male yoyo players who have a history of doing this (no, I’m not going to waste my time fetching a bunch of screenshots, yes, plenty of other people have noticed their behavior before this) really just sealed the deal.
The fact that this particular female player wasn’t as creeped out by this as quite a few other people is also irrelevant.
What’s important is that female yoyo players can participate in this community without being objectified and cat-called at every opportunity. What’s important is for Brett and Daniel and the large number of other players who engage in this behavior to realize is that for every one girl who just bats her eyes and says “Aw, thanks!” there are a dozen more who see it and slink away before they even get involved in the community. For every one person in this thread who is willing to completely defend your behavior, there are a half-dozen more shaking their heads and apologizing for it.
This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your actions. And the fact that this is not the first time either of you has behaved that way.
I’m not “calling you out” because I have some beef with you. I’m calling you out because I want you to realize this is not a good way to be, and I want you to stop being the sort of person who engages in this sort of behavior. If all you can do is think I’m somehow trying to “ruin you” then you’re missing the point completely, and missing an opportunity to do more good for this community. Since you both spend a lot of time talking about how much you contribute to yoyoing, I’d think that you would jump at the chance to contribute something more instead of focusing on the fact that you don’t like the person who is asking or the way they asked.
tl;dr - I don’t care who you are, I just don’t like seeing people treat women this way. It’s damaging and rude. Please don’t do it.
Before people start chiming in, they really should read the entire thread first, and not come in and post for the first time with two cents that have already been made many pages ago. I have said a million times it seems, that women having “skill” or “merit” is a subjective term to begin with. No one cares if you think a woman has as much “skill” as the man next to her. The only person who counts in making that determination about her being qualified, is the one who is in charge of the business who is sponsoring that woman. Period. If a business wants to sponsor a woman “just because,” if it is good for business, YES, by all means they should do it. Whatever you think of it does not matter, just mind your own business, and buy a yo-yo. A lot of men have been sponsored “just because,” so let’s not go there. No, sponsoring a woman for whatever the reason, is not sexist, especially in the male/female ratio in the industry.
If people read the beginning of the thread, they would realize that part of the point, was to start bringing incidents to light, when we see sexist comments or behaviors that might make women in the community uncomfortable. “Tattle tale” is a term that kids use, not applicable here, and what was done by Mr. Brown was for a purpose, not “just because.” He participated in this thread, and expressed interest in the topic, prior to a lot of other people chiming in. That is more than I can say for those who are chiming in way late, now that they see drama has ensued, so they want to jump on the bandwagon and add two cents. Then, they add two cents, without reading the entire thread. Bringing up old topics of discussion within this.
I appreciate Graeme’s response in all this. He was joking with a friend, and it was public, not the best arena for the joke, given what happened to her in the past with worst humor against her image. So he apologized if anyone took offense, who did not know the relationship between them, or felt it just was not good humor toward a female thrower. No one likes their name coming up in things like this, and he expressed that, and after reading what he took the time to write, I respect the response. I think his intentions had been cleared up long ago though, earlier in the thread, by those who knew the background and know him as a person.
Jrod was right, about us pointing the finger. No one is perfect here. Someone pointed a finger at me and I pointed one back earlier. Not the best way to continue this kind of discussion, and I didn’t start it, but did not take the high road on it either. We are human. After we recognize that, and realize the problem though, it is easier to move on.
Again, Steve Brown was interested in this topic before, more than I can say for a lot of others chiming in for defense purposes. Part of the topic has to do with celebrating those who have the guts to shine the spotlight on these issues and bring them to the forefront to be examined. He simply brought the matter to the forefront, and he is not the only one, by far, who felt the comments were inappropriate. So, the point has validity and was not made “just because.”
If the action bothered Steve. The proper reaction would be to PM Brett and Zammy.
yet as Shaun said you went on a tv show and was a complete ■■■■■■ another mans wife…
Please dont sell out so much… Steve you and YYF have the wonderful way of trying to switch blame on something or someone. You also claim you have no ill intentions but this isnt the first time you have something like this to both of us.
You also claim you do so much for the community and are a role model, yet you cause the most crap on the forums out of any person in the community.
Get off your pedestal and look in the mirror you do more damage then good.
You can swing this as many ways as you want but in the end Zammy and I did nothing wrong. It was playful and you pulled it out of context. You started the witchhunt with intentions on damaging us, plain and simple everyone can see it.
for anyone that hasn’t seen it 
I’ll keep this simple since i just read 10 pages of a mix of well thought out discussion to an outright flame war.
Yes sexism is bad and people need to learn to show women the same amount of respect they would like to have given to themselves. So in conclusion…stop whining about it and start treating people with respect, instead of saying “oh marry me” on a girl yoyoers picture or video say “oh cool trick!” or even “wow that background for this picture is GREAT!” It’s literally the easiest thing in the world to show people equal amounts of respect and until everyone learns to do it there will be sexism in the community.
/end 2cents
Once more, Brett, this is not about you and me. This weird hang-up you have about thinking I’m somehow out to get you is slightly alarming and completely unfounded. Let me just make this really clear, publicly: I do not have any interest in you, negative or positive. Please put that to rest.
You are correct in that this is not the first time you and I have disagreed about something. But I really don’t see what that has to do with the matter at hand, which is that you’ve done something that myself and quite a few other people find to be of questionable taste and intent and is indicative of a larger issue that is currently being discussed here.
As for the rest of your insults, I really don’t see what any of that has to do with what is being discussed here. You’ve made it very clear on multiple occasions that you think I’m a worthless, damaging whatever to the online community. I don’t think that every single exchange between us really requires you to reiterate these points.
sex·ism
/ˈsekˌsizəm/
Noun
Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.
Explain how a RAWR I meant meow was prejudice, stereotyping, or discriminating to her or any other woman in the WORLD…
Did I say RAWR make me some sandwiches?
Did I say RAWR I want you to be with me?
Did I say RAWR I am better at yoyo because I am a man?
NOPE none of the above… None that fits the definition of sexism. Nothing that has anything to do with you or anyone else in this thread besides Tasya and Me PERIOD.
I replied to a friends picture, with a playful comment back. She even thinks its ridiculous and is laughing at the big deal you have made from it.
NOW PLEASE TO END THIS ALL… WHERE DID I Brett Grimes, do anything that was sexism? if anything it was fun between two mutual see that MUTUAL friends, on the same level playing field, having fun treating each other as equals.
guys! what’s going on here?!!
I’m not very well understand English, but I read all the messages.
can’t you do nothing more than to blame people in the fictional sexism?
look at the comments under photos Ann Connolly and calm down, please!
it was just a nice response to my photo.
And in general I do not want my picture screen was placed there WITHOUT MY CONSENT!
I think we can all agree - it’s important to respect women in our sport as we have very few of them. The points made here were to bring awareness and be positive. But people are feeling attacked - and I know that was not any of your intentions so let’s take a break for now.
I will leave the thread here as it does have a lot of good information and opinions regardless.
Having brought my girlfriend (now wife) to many contests in the past - it is definitely an intimidating place at first and the fact that people are starting to think and care about this is huge.
There was a surprisingly decent discussion about why there aren’t more women yo-yo players on Reddit recently and I thought this response was particularly insightful and the easily the best of that particular thread:
I have a theory about this. I’m not sure how accurate it is, but just roll with me on this one.
Before I dig in, just know that this doesn’t just apply to throwing as a hobby, but nearly EVERY skill-based hobby that I have encountered. The low number of females in this hobby isn’t exclusive to throwing, but is also seen in the cubing scene, in the begleri scene, and in the various TCGs and CCGs I have played over the years.
My theory is that they simply are uncomfortable in these scenes due to an overwhelming shadow of sexual tension. Most of the people who make up the demographic of these hobbies tends to be kids in the junior high to high school range, and every single one of those kids have a few things in common, namely puberty and social awkwardness. Mix those two together and you’ve created a recipe that will result in a demographic that is highly populated by males who have little to no experience on how to deal with or relate to girls.
I’m not trying to take a dig or lope everyone who throws into the trope of “Kissless Virgin” or anything like that, but all of these hobbies that are mostly male-dominated typically has very little to do with the skillsets of females and a lot to do with how comfortable they feel in the community.
Take an objective look at it from a female’s standpoint: You’re interested in a hobby that is unique and skill-based such as throwing. So, you go out, purchase a decent yoyo, and you start learning up on various beginner and intermediate methods. With some time, you become a pretty decent thrower and decide that you’d like to attend a few meetups, so you do some research and find a local place to meet with other throwers.
When you arrive, you find it’s a total sausage fest. Everyone there is male, leaving you alone in a sea of testosterone. Unluckily for you, the guys who you are now surrounded by happen to be struggling with the imbalances of puberty and probably have had zero real interaction with a female who shares a similar interest. What happens next is a never-ending stream of guys trying to impress you with the hopes of generating interest to possibly date/court you.
Now consider how draining that is. Women are subjected to this all of the time. The last thing most female throwers want is to deal with that BS when they are just trying to enjoy a hobby, so more often than not, they opt not to attend future events.
I went to a local meetup a few years back with my wife who also throws. What ended up happening was that we had to leave about two hours into the meetup, simply because so many guys couldn’t understand that a female showing up to share their hobby did NOT mean she wanted to date them. One guy almost started getting physical to the point where I nearly had to get physical myself. Even a married woman had to deal with the awkward interactions, and it wasn’t okay.
So that’s my theory. It may be right, it may be wrong, but it’s a decent explanation. I sure as heck know I wouldn’t want to be a semi-attractive woman looking to get into throwing. That sounds like a nightmare.
Really excellent food for thought … it certainly made me stop and think and consider my own mindset 
As a man, particularly a white man, it’s good to understand that people really don’t actively go out of their way to “bother” you in the way that happens to women or people of color pretty much every single day. And just because you don’t see it personally, or that it doesn’t happen to you personally … does not mean it isn’t out there!
The hardest things to see, are the things that are invisible to you.
I get what the poster was trying to say, although he didn’t do himself any favors with the last line about narrowing it down to attractive women, but honestly I think it’s mostly just the same societal stigmas (pertaining to masculine/feminine perception) that cloud up many other activities. Especially when you’re talking about jr high and high school.
As far as the interwebz comments, yeah, people on the internet can be lame. Period. That is universal and not even worth bringing into the discussion in my opinion. The reasons for that are far too extensive and reach much farther than skill toys. Unfortunately people can now hurl comments with no fear of losing teeth