Week 2: The SoM “No-Throw July” Chronicles
Yoyo-ing Mentally on My Decisions
I’m yoyo-ing mentally on my decisions (yes, I went there). Week two of “No-Throw July” is a rollercoaster. My willpower is being tested like never before, and sanity was never quite one of my strong suits to begin with.
The Arrival of the BST Throws
A couple of my BST throws came in this week (not the one I was looking for though). Naturally, I had the misfortune of unpacking them and staring at them before putting them in the corner like children in time-out. They look at me, wondering what horrible new household they’ve entered. “We even came stringed, please love us,” they silently cry. I try to ignore their pleas, but a single tear rolls down my cheek, reminiscent of the old Native American trash commercial from the '70s. “Patience, my children, you will be loved!” I shout, much to the confusion of my neighbors.
The Otter’s Complaint
My Otter yoyo is not amused. “This is Otterly ridiculous!” it declares. Meanwhile, my G2 Afterlife is actually starting to float away, living up to its soul-based name. I swear, if it starts glowing, I’m calling a priest.
The Judgment of Your Mom
Then there’s my YoYoFreaks Your Mom. It looks at me with utter disdain and says, “You’re no son of mine.” The shame is strong with this crew. I feel like I’m living in a soap opera, but with more string and less scandal, and none of my relatives are in a coma.
The Oreo Incident
Went to work today, and someone brought snacks. Oreos. Suddenly, I’m Indiana Jones facing his worst fear. “Oreos, why did they have to be Oreos?” I mutter, trying to resist the temptation. It’s harder than it looks, little round jerks.
Finger Musings
I sit in the living room playing my guitar, trying to keep my mind on other things. Jamming out hits you all know and love like “Hit Me With Your Best Monkey-Snot,” “Throw-hemian Rhapsody.” “The Sound of Bearing Silence,” “Throwing in the Deep,” “I Can’t Get Yo Satisfaction,” and “Should I Stay or Should I Throw.” I look at my fingertips and wonder if the same callus I worked so hard on my throw finger will ever be the same. What has this challenge done to me? In the meantime, I’ll just keep re-organizing my throws while humming “all in all it’s just a….nother Shelf on the Wall”
The Chicken-Yo Conundrum
While making dinner, I secretly wonder if I stick a toothpick between the small ends of two chicken wings and join them together, will it yoyo? Is it a super-wide? Definitely a fixed axle throw. Alas, the Dr. Moreau’ed Chicken-Yo did not see life, but I am still wondering. Maybe worth a messy shot one day.
Holding Out Hope
I am surviving. I will get there. Hold out hope and cross your fingers that my throw comes in next week. Until then, I’ll keep my yoyos in time-out and my sanity in check……Maybe.
Stay tuned for more tales from “No-Throw July.” Will I finally get my much anticipated July proto? Will my yoyos forgive me? Will I resist the Oreos? Only time will tell (except the Oreos, they’re definitely gone).