Once again we have reached the season of the magnificent sleigh ride, letters containing dreams, lights, trees and the most terrible, awful, rancid, music ever created.
I know it’s early but I decided to beat the rush and send this letter early so you would have the time to give it the special consideration it deserves.
I know in the past we haven’t always seen eye to eye on my behavior as demonstrated by the years of coal, potatoes, rocks, and stones under the tree Christmas morning. However I have made serious attempts and taken great effort to rectify this. Several years ago I sent this letter explaining what I had done with my gifts:
I have put my gifts to good use over the last several years. With the stones and rocks I have created a very nice housing complex for those that need a place to rest, live and sleep. I heat it with the large supply of coal, which we also use to cook the potatoes and share with everyone. I’ve really learned to care more about my fellow man. You’ve shown me that.
I would truly appreciate a nice new metal yoyo of a superior nature, that feels awesome in the hand, catches the eye, and impossible to put down.
Skitrz (Caring human)
Do you remember what I got for that effort? A Red Rider BB gun! I was so excited even though I hadn’t asked for a Red Rider BB gun there it was! Why did you give me such a gift? I know, I had been good, well that’s what I thought until I shot my eye out! Yeah you got me good!
This year I have been good once again. I have polished the rocks and stones and sold them, I supply power plants all across the country with coal, and with the potatoes, free french fries for all. I’d say that’s pretty good and worthy of a yoyo of a superior nature, that feels awesome in the hand, catches the eye, and is impossible to put down.
What did I do with the money from the polished rocks and stones? I bought plasitc yoyo’s for hundreds of people to try.
Remember when you load the sleigh, yoyos aren’t near as heavy as potatoes, rocks and stones, and coal. Give the reindeer a break and just load a yoyo.
Skitrz (Needs a yoyo)