My Dad’s fav and one and only….
How do you catch a unique bird?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame bird?
Tame way!
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why don’t oysters share their pearls?
because they’re a little shellfish.
kgb
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I like the pulp fiction joke.
TLDR; Family of tomatoes. The older tomato says to the younger tomato: Ketchup.
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The one I told my wife on our first date. Prop in hand.
I told her holding a remote in my hand (we where at a restaurant it made no sense but I was committed to this dumb line)
“You know, first time I saw a universal remote. (Takes a sip of drink) I thought to myself. This changes everything. (Place remote on table)” she somehow didn’t leave the date that moment.
Second date we rode bikes.
I ride up next to her. I hop
Off the bike. I ask her “do you know why bicycles fall over… (drops bike let’s it fall over) because they are two tired”
It’s been about a decade and two children later. I think back and feel those where the lines that got her hooked.
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You know the fact that you brought a remote just for the sole intent of being able to make that joke is commendable. Bravo to you lmao
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What’s a foot’s fav snack? Doritoes
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A horse walks into a bar. The Barkeeper asks ‚Why the long face‘.
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Whenever I drive by a cemetery I point it out and say, hottest club in town, people are dying to get in there!
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Why did the pirate go see a movie? Because it was rated “arrr”
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Dude. I like your style!!!
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This one requires an answer from at least one person.
What is a pirates favorite letter???
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Arrrrrrr
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a beaver walks into a bar and asks “wheres the bar tender?” XD
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You’d think it’s the Arrrrr. But it’s really the “C”eeee…
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Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
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Why do chicken coups only have two doors?
If they had four doors, the would be chicken sedans.
Why do divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
I dont teust stairs… they’re always up to something.
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Loved this one from The Last of Us:
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah, it runs in your jeans.
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That one was actually a highlight scene for me lolol
For some reason I found that way funnier than I should have when it came on during the show.
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Hilarious. Bravo.