"Yoyo Boomer"

[nightshadow]

From a old post of mine. Please nobody punch me.

@nightshadow

To be read in a David Attenborough documentary voice:

A common affliction. Adult victims can commonly be found in their natural habitats: yoyo forums, and Facebook groups. Eventually, they embrace the condition, abandoning any hope of progress, and adopting the title of “casual throwers”.

Packs of these casual throwers roam the internet, talking of craft beers, knives, and hunting their natural prey: vintage organic yoyos.

If none can be found, then they will settle for modern yoyos, as long as they are slimline responsive, or by such brands as a/rt and MonkeyFinger.

Will scientists ever discover a cure for this affliction? The outlook is bleak. The only treatment currently available involves regular practice, which is known to cause seizures, heart attacks, and in the case of horizontal yoyoing, instant death among patients.

It’s easy to point fingers, but somehow, I feel myself turning into more of a yo-yo boomer everyday…