Ed Haponik’s 66 rules for yo-yo players
you guys should read this.
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learn to loop. with two hands.
*yes, i agree, can’t do double A? the least u can do is learn proper double loop so u can show people how fun it is. or for whatever reason, i don’t know how to put it… -
when you play yo-yo in public, look up. be aware of your surroundings. say hi to the people who look at you in wonder. say hi to those who look at you with disdain.
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be generous with your time, and with your toys. if you have the means, at every event you attend, give something away to someone (who does not ask).
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understand the differences between yo-yoing for yourself in your room, yo-yoing for judges at a contest, and yo-yoing for a small child at the park.
*i really hope players understand this. yes you’re good, but do the right tricks and the right place, don’t just try to show people you’re good, some audience don’t understand. -
try to find and play yo-yo’s that come from every decade of the past century. appreciate their differences (and similarities).
*new local players of today? -
when performing for an audience, always look better than they do.
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be proud you’re a yo-yo player. have pity for those who think you shouldn’t be.
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never act like yo-yoing is a big inconvenience. no one’s making you do it.
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be prepared to walk the dog on command. always.
*can’t bare to ding your aluminum 888, Leviathan, MayheM?
can’t get them to return on a tug? get a responsive plastic then… its always fun to show new kids how to walk the dog using a simple plastic responsive yoyo, unless you don’t like to spread your beloved sport. shame on u. -
never blame the judges. maintain the attitude that, if you had REALLY won, it wouldn’t have been up to them at all.
*i don’t wanna start bringing up names… -
hit a true laceration on a stock renegade. fly-away dismount.
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don’t talk about how ‘so-and-so’ is a lousy player (or human being) if you’re unwilling to bring it to them personally.
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don’t confront someone about being a lousy player (or human being) unless you’re right. and be sure you understand the consequences.
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when you’re getting paid to yo-yo, be on time and do your job with a smile.
*yes i know you sometimes hate your employer to the core but… they paid you.
not many people get paid to do something the love. yoyo for one. -
don’t yo-yo with the goal of being admired. don’t worry over whether you’re ‘somebody in the yo-yo community’. be ‘somebody in real life’ and then be the same person in the yo-yo community.
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recognize that you don’t really know very many tricks at all. this should make you feel inspired rather than pathetic.
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find a mentor. or twelve. no need to be explicit about it, but they should know who they are and what they mean to you.
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stay up all night playing yo-yo.
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compete. ladder, freestyles, best trick, or whatever. register, pay, and support the contest.
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carry a paperclip in your wallet.
*if you don’t get this, the reason i carry a paper clip, is to remove knots from inside the yoyo gap, yes yes, you can take apart your oh so expensive aluminum yoyo, but sometimes we do play with our russells. that said, i don’t know what Ed does with his paperclip… -
don’t accept sponsorship from a company you don’t absolutely love.
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carve a palm tree on a yo-yo using a pocketknife.
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understand how your yo-yo’s work. be able to maintain them.
*new players… -
never begrudge your dings. not in yo-yo. not in life.
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respect the venue.
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meet the masters (national or otherwise). shake their hands and thank them for making yo-yoing something more. make that YOUR goal.
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take care of your hands, wrists, body, and mind. when those things fail, so will your yo-yoing.
*if you dislocate your knee again… sigh. -
don’t go out of your way to vilify this or that company. support the ones that you feel benefit the community and yo-yoing in general. that’s enough.
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travel to a contest alone.
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travel to a contest in an overfull car.
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respect your elders.
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don’t fiddle obsessively with your bearings. they’ll do their job if you let them.
*new players? -
it’s one thing to be awed, but don’t be intimidated by yo-yo players, regardless of their skill.
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learn to snap-start.
*i’m still learning. -
find a yo-yo that you can’t play well at all. play it exclusively for a month.
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go to worlds.
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be able to do enough of each style to wow the uninitiated.
*see #1? -
do something else. take up an instrument. knit. do card tricks. shoot skeet. something.
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make yourself useful at contests. help set up. help clean up.
*yes, we know you’re busy training for your worlds2010 routine, u HAVE to win, but, do help out? even if its just teaching the new kids gravity pull? -
don’t be careless with other peoples’ yo-yo’s. don’t be overprotective of yours.
*you borrow it, you have the responsibility to take care of it.
don’t ask “it is dinged before?”
so what if it is or isn’t, are you gonna purposely ding it?
you don’t mind yours being dinged doesn’t make others the same. -
own an old wood yo-yo.
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if you bring a bunch of yo-yo’s somewhere, it will be understood that you want people to see them and be impressed. don’t be surprised when they aren’t.
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pass out on a yo-yoer’s floor in delighted exhaustion.
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learn all you can about every major player from every era of yo-yoing’s history. this art is FULL of fascinating characters.
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be neither proud nor ashamed of your collection.
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don’t seek to be someone else’s favorite player. seek to be your own favorite player. and in that regard, NEVER succeed.
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don’t leave home without it.
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learn to twist your own string.
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play responsive, but don’t act like it’s a big deal.
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practice more. post less.
*also, use the time u spend on figuring why your yoyo tilt and vibe on learning new tricks. -
develop yourself such that someday, if you should find yourself in a room surrounded by your heroes, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that you belong.
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invent a trick. hell, invent so many tricks that finding a way to record them becomes a necessity.
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don’t hide behind the mantle of an ‘online persona’. that has zero to do with being a yo-yoer.
*local new players…
Overseas player drive 5-6hrs for a yoyo meeting. we’ve got MRT here, longest trip takes 1.5hr, don’t complain. you think its a waste of time traveling, you probably don’t love yoyoing enough. shame on u. -
run a contest or event. make it a benefit to the companies that are willing to sponsor it. make it a benefit to the players who come and spend their day.
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don’t use the word ‘sexy’ to describe a yo-yo. or ‘sexay’. or ‘secksay’. or ‘pure sex’. or ‘smexy’. to do so makes you sound as if you have no real context for the word ‘sexy’.
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make a video. before you publish or hype it, make certain that it’s something that you would want to watch all the way through, even if the yo-yoer were some random guy you’ve never met.
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yo-yo transcends gender, and yet the vast majority of yo-yoers are male. respect and appreciate the few girls and women brave enough to wade through all the smelly aggro testosterone to do their thing.
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find a globe. locate ‘the other side of the world’. befriend a yo-yo player from there (or as close as you can manage).
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at one point, you were just starting out. whether it was last week or 50 years ago, remember that time. treat those who are learning the basics with care. answer their questions, help them with string tension, and don’t act like they need to get in line to kiss your boot.
*yes, again, you’re national, regional champion, i know… but take time off to teach kids how to yoyo instead of trying to impress everyoe else with your complicated worlds2010 combo. -
acquire a yo-yo from shinobu, eric wolff, or john higby.
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always have a spare string on you.
*“eh can gimme one string?” com’on… you’re a yoyo player.
i don’t mean its a crime, but all the time? -
have more than one gear. go fast when it’s time to go fast. go slow when it’s time to go slow. understand when it’s appropriate to play simply and when it’s best to be strange and complicated.
*see #4? -
don’t set too much store by contest results. at their MOST valid, they give an idea of who played the best for three minutes, on one given day. respect everyone who can get up there with poise and intent.
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disregard these rules. make your own rules. and make allowances for those who won’t play or live by them.
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treat every throw as if it’s your last. (throw today.)
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treat every throw as if it’s your first. (throw forever.) the two are not actually contradictory.
