When it rains, it pours


#1

Tragedy has struck again. I was gonna order a Phenom today, but something said don’t. Glad I didn’t.

I’m gonna be gone for a bit. All I will say right now is if you want to reach me, you can. I’ll be leaning on the forum later on to help get me out of the dark side of this mess. Trust me when I say this: I WILL be back. Not sure when, but don’t worry, I’ll be reachable.

BUT: let me say this. No harm has come to my household and leave it at that for now. I mean, it’s bad enough no shows and that funk, then the sister in law getting shot right before DIsneyland kinda wrecking that for me, and then the post Disneyland crash, and now this…

Thank you TMCertified for the video. While i still can’t do Drop In the Bucket YET, I was working on it last night. The bloopers were great. it was a pick-up.

Regarding the rest of you:
Well, let me name names first:

Icthus: All around good guy.
Jayyo: I hope you learned your lesson. Welcome back. Now, place nice, OK?
Andre: You rock. Thanks for everything.

Now to everyone else:
You guys are a great community, one I’m happy to be a part of.

I am a forum eXpert, I am a role model. I will be back. Right now, I’ve been promoted to a position I do not want to be in regarding my extended family(the in-laws) and as such, it comes with a lot of extra crap. But I will be the pillar of strength, calm and focus, keeping them in line and trying to hold them together.

All I will say is I think I’m gonna be burning through a lot of strings today. As I said, I was gonna order a Phenom, then ask Andre for some signed cards(surprise the kids for Xmas plus a little keeper of my own). In the meantime, lots of plans have just been placed on hold.

I have lots to look foward to. Tricks to learn, kids to raise, long posts to bore you all with. So, while I may be suffering from depression, I know there’s another day, tomorrow will come and maybe the next day won’t suck as bad as this one.

Anyhow, I’m out. I’m reachable, my phone is hardly ever off, but my default ringer is silent. Text me first if you expect an answer, or just text me, that’s “free”. But don’t feel you need to. I’ve been through a lot before and I’ll get through this one too.

Anyhow, I’m off to pack 2 kids into a double stroller, skate to school, sign my kids out of school and wait for further instructions. I’ll try to post my “general recommendations/advice 2.0” today or tomorrow. PM me more silly questions for me to provide vague answers to.


#2

Take as much time as you need. Life should come before a forum. Your advise will be missed, but come back when it’s all sorted for you. We can manage the short time you’re gone :wink:


#3

I hope to see you back soon, but take your time, all the time you need. Hard times take time and effort to work out, and I wish you the best. I hope to see you back soon, in the time you’ve been here, you’ve become a great member of these forums, and helped out a lot. I thank you for that, it makes things easier to read and sort through
We’ll see you soon, and you will be missed


#4

I am so sorry :’( throughout the past few days you seem to be having a pretty rough time. But i will be said to see your good and super long advice posts gone. But then while your gone I will have something to ook forward to. And whatever happened to you this time good luck. Once again :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(


#5

this just screams role model… hope things start lookin up for you… my best regards

zerrubabbel


#6

We’re sending good vibes and prayers your way.

Hang in there and we’ll leave the light on for you!


#7

Best wishes to you sir. I hope everything works out in the end. You can have all the good thoughts I own.


#8

Not to add to it, but:

http://www.kcra.com/news/29871132/detail.html


http://www.news10.net/news/local/article/165329/2/7-accidents-before-9-am-on-foggy-Sacramento-roadways

I really am not liking Mondays.


#9

Wow! That’s terrible!

I had to drive in the fog the other night. Scary stuff.


#10

Fog had nothing to do with this. But, I gotta keep some of my opinions to myself right now. However, I hate driving in the fog, and even more so at night. Where I live, the fog can come in fast and thick, so thick you can’t even see to the end of your driveway. The super scary part is some people will not slow down to deal with the impaired visibility. There’s a major road behind my house, and it’s a miracle there aren’t more accidents.

Saw the body yesterday. “oh, he looks peaceful”… No, he didn’t. He looked in pain. I can tell they had to do a lot of work.

Family seems to be doing better now though. Well, whatever.

I haven’t left YYE. I’m doing “yoyo therapy”. I just find I need to keep myself distracted and functional in order to work my way though this. It’s mostly being strong for my wife. It’s not that I need time to grieve, but I’ve gotten from this experience what I need and now I’m done with it.


#11

Well, the past week has been a confusing blur of slow motion. Different than the last time this happened when my own father quite literally “dropped dead” to start 2003(January 1, 2003 to be exact)

Just to recap, on November 28th, my father in law died while walking IN the freeway and got hit and killed by a big rig. Again for purposes of legal matters, some details I am leaving out(such as personal thoughts and observations) The body was released to the family 2 days later. and the funeral home charged them over $5600 for all the stuff that goes with it. All said and done, I managed to save them some money by going with a different urn purchased online and saving them over $350. Their urn choice was totally unacceptable considering what was to be done with the remains afterwards.

So, Wednesday, the body was released and they must have pulled an all-nighter to make him presentable for viewing. There were long viewings Thursday and Sunday, then a dragged out Buddhist service Monday. Tuesday was the cremation and the body had to be moved to a different location for that. This time, another long ceremony which I was essentially forced out of, but before you take up issue with that, it was necessary to keep the kids out of it so as to not provide distraction, so I was forced out to handle the kids, which if you have to weigh the pros and cons, I think you’ll find this was the best solution. We were let back in for the final portion, which involved closing the coffin after placing a ton of flowers inside, moving the coffin to a hydraulic lift, lining things up and sliding the coffin inside the crematorium. The family at this point was pretty much all in tears and having a very difficult time accepting this finality. After this was done, most of the family did go to San Jose for some sort of service at a temple. Today, they’ve by now picked up the remains and are driving them to the same temple again.

I COULD say a lot of things, but I’m not going to. Some of my thoughts are very cold and cruel. Most are not very sympathetic, but you’re not living what I live and seeing what I see and definitely do not know what I know. Even so, I feel what happened was wrong and that he should still be alive. There were many negative forces at play, many self imposed, but an equal if not greater number of factors that were externally weighing down on him as well. As I am familiar with depression, I know many of the signs and symptoms and I was repeatedly told to shut up and “we’ll take care of it”. The final stages occurred very fast, which isn’t unusual though when people do such drastic things.

At any rate, this whole thing, at least on the surface, is over. Once again, I’m plunging back into my world of darkness, but it’s deeper than the typical dives due to recent events. Just coming off a Disneyland trip, I was expecting the typical crash that follows, which of course was happening, but then this whole thing occurs.

At the same time, I have quite a bit to be thankful for. First, in general is the YYYE forum, which provided a focus and distraction from all this other stuff going on that I couldn’t fully understand due to language barriers(the in-laws are Vietnamese). Since I can’t understand them, I had to go somewhere where at least I have a chance of understanding, and even helping. I’d like to thank specifally the following members, with reason:
Andre, for providing me with a project to work on for the YYE community. But that’s all I’m saying.
TMCertified, for a few conversations on the telephone that mostly had NOTHING to do with yoyos, but did include that topic. As we’re two very like individuals with a passion for audio and a relatively new-found love for this simple toy you all know as the yoyo, it’s nice to find commonality amid chaos. Also, for his Drop In The Bucket video, which I must say got me over the final hurdles in nailing this trick. I had lots of time to throw while otherwise being able to do nothing during “visitations”, so any type of usable downtime was used in a more productive manner.
Unrelated, but SacHorrorFilmFest, which I’ve been working with for 5 years and we’re onto our sixth year together, for dropping a ton of work in my lap, which helps me continue to move forward and not dwell on the bad stuff.

So, while I was “gone”, I wasn’t truly gone. Now I’m back

Let me close with useful advice:
For those with family members affected by depression, be aware it can turn and turn quickly. At the first sign of problems that you suspect to be suicidal or otherwise other acts of self damage, don’t screw around, be pro-active and make efforts to get them help. Although I don’t recommend medications for treating this, it can be necessary. Counseling can help. Make the effort before they can make a wrong effort.

To those contemplating suicide, let me say a few things:
Whatever your problems or frustrations or issues are, if you are willing to ride it out, it WILL get better. Tomorrow is another day. It is a gamble though, because maybe tomorrow is better, or maybe it’s not, but it’s a chance worth taking.
You may feel you’re alone, but you’re not. Help is available and don’t be afraid to ask for it.
This is NOT a victimless act. You leave behind people who cared for you, and then the costs involved in dealing with the decisions you made, such as clean-ups, funeral, and other final disposition issues.

Don’t think for one second I haven’t had such thoughts myself. The past 8 years for me have in generally been horrific. Business has been horrible and elements of my personal life have just been crap. Yes, there have been many good things, but between those have been long periods of bad piled on bad. Yet, I persevere. The chances are high that at some point things are going to turn around.

If you WANT help or NEED help, then GET HELP. Contact someone. If you see a family member in need, then don’t wait, just act. It’s better to have the worst case scenario be some mandatory counseling and therapy and annoying the crap out of someone rather than a different ending that nobody wants.

Maybe the way out of darkness is just a simple distraction. A game, perhaps. A hobby or some other activity might be in order. Why not introduce the yoyo to someone in a bad position. While the toy itself may seem trivial, it’s the time you spend teaching them and sharing with them that may be the catalyst they need to open up communication and redirect negative energy into something that is hopefully fun and enjoyable. Sometimes just knowing someone gives enough of a crap to spend time with someone else is all that is needed. Granted, the yoyo won’t change the world, but if it can help provide a little joy into someone’s life, then it’s worth every bit of time, money and effort. So, while the yoyo won’t save the world, it can help save people one at a time for those it is a good match for. Not everyone will like or take to the yoyo, but that’s fine, redirect those efforts into something else to try to obtain the same end results of getting someone OUT of the darkness.

I try to lead by example when I can. With my title as a forum eXpert, I feel the need to rise above it all for the greater good of the community. I’m still the same as before.

So, I’m done on this topic for a while. I’ll leave the thread open a few days, then I’m gonna lock it by the end of the week.


(Troy(oyo) #12

Great words. Truly inspiring. Thanks for all the time you put into these posts. They mean a lot to the community.


#13

Purpose served.Thread locked.