Paul Blart in Mall Cops: Picking on Throwers

I’ve been a security guard of sorts, and believe me, it doesn’t feel good to be “that guy.” I’ve had to hassle skateboarders, kick kids out of trees, and oust people for all sorts of completely harmless behavior. Basically, if the big boss is a hardnose, everything a teenager does is against the rules, and you’ll get an earful if you let some kid get away with having too much fun.

The worst part is when the kid accuses you of power tripping, as if you’re just basking in the glory of doing your miserable, soul-crushing job. Most of the time the only power those guys have is their cell phone; to call someone who actually does have some power. And I used to be that kid too, so I always knew it was karma getting back at me.