“And alligators are ornery because of all those teeth”. Don’t know what else to say. I was talking about known psychological facts on the victim mentality. If you say another made you suffer, you are being a victim by your choice. Those are the facts. I didn’t invent this stuff, I’m just a messenger. I did not mean ‘victim’ of suicide but used the term (victim mentality) as a psychological definition which might have made it confusing? We are not speaking about the term in the same context.
The cold and harsh judgemental attitude many have towards suicide is a means to discount any amount of suffering the suicide was going through. It’s a dehumanizing technique used in various forms of social conditioning. It is also considered narcissism in respect, but don’t blame me for that. This is based off of us collectively being studied. It is what C. Jung said,
We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
All the old tropes are not correct. In the world of suicide prevention and education they are broken records of false data. Being angry is normal. But owning that is the 1st step in coming to resolution for loved ones. Unless you are a loved one, or know them intimately (not sex, time/knowledge) of a suicide you really don’t have a valid judgement of them, ever. You just don’t know. Sure you can compare them to a ideal that does not exist, but so what? The fact is this world is a terrifying and painful place to many or it became so through living here. You will have to find compassion for such people or you will never help them. There is plenty of room in the love filled heart to have compassion for all the patients in a hospital.
Before or after death, I just meant love and pain or fear cannot co-exist in the same place. So if you want to feel love, you have to drop the others. So just drop the suffering for a second and the other can approach/be. Be positive/grateful. I know it’s easier said than done, but it is doable. I cared for my father from becoming home bound, to chair ridden, to bed ridden, to a fetal position. I’m fine. Life is beautiful. I would have been fine if he died much sooner too. Seriously. But, he was a Marine and to his final breath he fought. Literally. His arms and legs were cold for hours before he passed while his body fought to maintain a life sustaining core temperature.
I held it together until the Marine handed me his flag while saying the President of the United States of America thanks you for your fathers sacrifice. Then I started shaking and crying and sobbing. It was so beautiful to have that anguish pour out of me. And when I was able to look up and see through my tears again, I saw two battle hardened Marines crying completely with me. I shared a moment with these men like I had served with them somehow. It was what is becoming cliche every time I type it, beautiful. So when I say be grateful, I mean it. When I say it is there if you have not found it, I mean it.
Funny story, decades earlier I almost got fired from the operating room when I went ‘toe to toe’ with the head nurse on being the hospital that was putting feeding tubes in guaranteed beds for the nursing homes. Guaranteed beds are beds with insured non-responsive patients with no family or visitors in them. After putting FT in fetal, non responsive, no family, no hope patients, so the nursing homes could bill another year or more off their insurance/medicare just became to much. I learned what being naive meant yet again. I also learned hospitals are not sacred ground filled with sacred people. By a long shot.
Suicide is a mental illness and a valid part of the discussion imho. How I saw a reason to post some factual information was just that. Plus, no one here could make me feel animosity, or anything. I’m not a victim. 
In fact, I think I might be a comedian? I’m always cracking these hilarious jokes to myself when I’m reading.
