Hi all,
I wanted to preface this post by putting a content warning as this contains mentions of mental disorders and sicknesses, plus some themes that some may find distressing. Reader discretion for reading on.
I know that many of you have witnessed a dear yoyo community member recently going through some difficult times as they are suffering through a mental health crisis, and with this comes a lot of questions and uncertainty. Others may not even be aware of this individuals condition and find themselves confused over what is happening.
In my time in the yoyo world I have seen many beloved members of the community unfortunately deal with a variety of mental challenges and hardships and it’s been sad to see how some members of the community respond to these things happening. I wanted to take some time and address what we can do together when situations like these come up, and maybe shed a bit of light on just what’s going on.
While this comes up due to a recent community member going through this, it’s safe to say that this sort of thing has happened to numerous other yoyo players we have seen through the years, and I hope moving forward we can do better and truly make a difference.
For starters, we need to understand that mental disorders and mental health episodes that come with it can look like a lot of things. Sometimes they can seem very drastic, and other times be completely hidden. With numerous distinctions and types, the overall idea that we can give these things is that they cause an individual to see/experience things in a way that someone else who doesn’t suffer from these things will see or experience, and often this comes with a distortion of reality of how they perceive themselves, their surroundings, and/or others. This is something important to keep in mind.
From PTSD where a past trauma causes an individual to relive and remember things that damaged them and sometimes become triggered from certain circumstances, to bipolar disorder where an individual can fluctuate back and forth from a manic and confused state to a depressive isolated state in waves, overall these things are causing an individuals reality to become distorted in some way.
Depending on the illness/disorder, the individual can often seem very different from what we may have seen of them before, and sometimes this can fluctuate back and forth. There can be good days and bad days, or even good months or years and vice versa.
The question comes up then of “what can I do?” “What can be done when an individual is going through an episode and saying things that aren’t true?”
“What can be done when an individual is doing something damaging to themselves or others?” “What can I do if they’re targeting me?” These can be tough questions to ask when things seem to be going for the worse, but ultimately it comes down to one thing no matter what the situation is, and that is to BE THERE FOR THEM, but keep healthy boundaries.
What does this look like?
It’s safe to assume that most of us are not mental health professionals, and because of this we need to come to terms with the fact that “we can’t FIX anyone” ourselves.
What we can do, is be a patient friend who’s willing to listen and be there for that individual. Approaching from a place of “I care about this person and want what’s best for them” rather than “I need to come in and fix this person so they’re all better” is key for this sort of situation.
Of course if you find yourself in a situation where it’s not healthy to be around this person or to engage with them, you can still be “present” with your support while maintaining the healthy distance you need.
One thing crucial to understand is that when an individual is going through a mental episode, it’s not a simple matter of “convincing them” or snapping out of it. If I were to tell you that you are in fact a porpoise, you would of course tell me this is false, because you know for a fact that is most definitely not what you are. In this situation, an individual also will truly believe what’s happening in their mind, and no amount of convincing or telling them to “snap out of it” is going to stop that. More so this sort of talk will only make the issue worse and can create hostility between you and the individual. Only time, treatment and patience can fix this.
“Why can’t they just go get help?”
It’s often not that simple. Note that for any individual, they are the ones who have to be willing to seek out help and treatment for the things that they are dealing with, and ultimately, resources might not be readily available even for someone who might want it. Other times the individual might not think anything is wrong at all and will refuse looking into it as to them, everything is normal. This can be very frustrating, especially when we see someone spiraling, but it’s a sad reality that we sometimes see. As mentioned before, the best thing we can do is provide a listening ear and be a presence of support, even if that just looks like a quick “hope you’re doing well and we care about you!” Message.
Patience really is needed in situations like this and if you find you are running out of patience, it’s totally fine and valid. In my own time of working with individuals going through different mental health crisisis and issues, it is hard, it is draining, it can be incredibly sad to see, and sometimes you need to just take a step back for your own well being. This is important to do for yourself as nothing good can come from you trying to provide support when your own mental health is damaged.
I’ve seen many yoyo players go through mental disorder challenges and I hope that we can all learn the best way to deal with these incidences. At the end of the day we are all a big community and family, and I know we all want the best for every individual who comes across this yoyo world of ours.
I say all this coming from my own background of mental health challenges due to my past PTSD and Anxiety disorder, and my time working in a field helping people going through such things. Even when it seems like there’s nothing you can do, just being that little presence for someone going through it DOES make a difference, and I hope we can all see that as time goes on.
If you or someone you know is going through a mental health crisis, you can call “988” in the USA To speak to someone.
• https://988lifeline.org/
As well as:
National Alliance on Mental Illness NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 741-741
I greatly welcome everyone to leave comments of other good resources that are out there as I know there are many.
Thank you so much for your time
_J Yee.
