Im grieving at the moment. .. . Two deaths in a year

I just need to write this down .
With sadness and grief in my heart, I want to tell you guys about this.
At the start of this year, my grandmother, who was very ill, died of leukemia.
She suffered for years, but always laughing . She was a loving and even more loved woman to all our family. My grandfather took great care of her , even when he got sick and got pneumonia last year. He kept refusing to go to the hospital. He wanted to care for my sick grandmother.
He got better eventually, but my grandmother died , at the start of this year.
We all were shocked and I pain , even if we knew she would die.
I saw her die, eyes open and her breathing was heavy.
I gave her a hug and told her " you May go home". That day she slept in peacefully.
After all this , my grandfather was in very much pain losing his wife. Even I cried from time to time. The house was emty without her.

Past week , my grandfather got very sick with stomach flu, and when he fell down, my uncle called the hospital. He was in good care there, we thought, and he would recover and come back home.
When I was there, before he was that sick, before the hospital , before falling down, he said something that made my heart stop.
He told me that he don’t want to walk around any more, he rather be with my grandmother.
I thought it was Just because of being sick and not feeling wel.
now I know it was an goodbye.
This week, when he was in the hospital, he got in shock, and was put in coma.
Something in me broke, I knew it was the end. He was already 80.

Yesterday, I got the sad call from my father. He died.
It felt so unreal and unfair. He was so strong!
The doctors still are searching what he died of. But they think it’s acute leukemia.
When he got in shock, all the organs were failing. This was Just a little push, but still fatal. He could not get better. .
He is the second person of my familiy who died this year.
I feel horrible. Never a Phone call from him again , never going to clean the fish pond again. … never have a great talk with him again. I mis him…
He would have like me to go on yoing. He was the best grandfather a grandchild could wish. Rest in peace pepe. …

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Sorry for your losses. I know we’re not supposed to get religious, but I hope the Lord fills your heart with the knowledge that they are at peace and together.

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@Hydrona That’s a great deal of pain and loss to feel.

In 2017 in the course of six weeks I lost three family members and two friends. It felt a bit like drowning and when you finally could get a breath of air being pulled back under. Looking back I realize how fortunate I really was. Each of them had been such a gift that their absence from this world was more than notable. For me, embracing the grief and loss, acknowledging that feelings of that grief and loss were indicators of having loved others and having been loved, made me richer than many.

I’m glad you are finding ways to deal with your grief and loss. Surround yourself with friends and family, taking quiet moments for yourself, and wrap yourself in the warm memories you have of your grandparents.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I can definitely empathize, last year, my aunt (73) and my father (75) both passed away, actually today marks the one year anniversary of Dad’s death. The pain will lessen, eventually the happy memories will displace the tears.

My only advice is to live a life they would be proud of. Honor their lives by living a good life.

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I’m sorry Hydrona.

You have been through so much in this small amount of time.

As you know, the member’s thoughts are with you, and want you to pull through it and be happy.

Time heals, but I know it’s not much to offer.

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Thank you all so much, :heart:
I picked up My wooden tops again today.
I remember how happy he was, seeing I loved my spin tops and yo-yo s.
Im sure he wanted me to keep on practicing, what ever happens. And I won’t Let him down.
I imagine him now, looking down from up there together with my grandmother , smiling.

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I’m so sorry @Hydrona. All the best to you and your family during this difficult time.

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Thank you, the funeral was yesterday.
He and my grandmother’s ash are placed together in a beautiful grave.
I’m going to visit their remains on the graveyard, every week.

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You are a good person, and were a dedicated granddaughter.
I know they were proud of you, and felt lucky you were part of their life.

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i’ll be praying for you @Hydrona

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