Yearly ESC thread is HERE!


(JonasK) #1

It’s here! The yearly music event.

Forget everything you think and feel about music, and delve into what you might initially think is a bunch parody videos randomly discovered on YouTube. This is the yearly European feast on clichés in music. We’re talking about an over-the-top show unlike anything else.

The first semi has already happened, with the second coming up, but the grand feast is on saturday. This is a party you think you want to miss, but deep down you know you need to catch it. It will be streamed on www.eurovision.tv , so check that website to get your timezones all fixed up.

Of course, I’ve already taken the pleasure of watching every single contribution, and while I can say that this year is unusually boring being extremely heavy on ballads, there are some gems including a bearded lady (NO JOKE!). Here are some of the noteworthy contributions:

The song is apparently about him hating the nickname his ex gave him. The song is not that good, but he managed to work google maps into the chorus, so I’m pleased.

This video almost deserves a NSFW tag, but they’ve managed to stay on the grey side of that border. This is Polish folk combined with Gwen Stefani.

This song is a commentary on the modern consumer society. “I have everything, but not a moustache”. As a man who can’t grow a moustache, I can relate. What’s worth mentioning is that the French still know how to make good house beats.

Now you might think: “How did Denmark manage to get Bruno Mars to do this contest?” Turns out that it’s just not Bruno Mars, and it’s scatman Joe either. Wither way, the song is somewhat catchy.

Ok so I actually lied about this being a woman. This is Tom Neuwirth, as his drag persona Conchita Wurst. This is far from the first time we’ve seen drag in ESC, but the beard does makes it stand out. The song could be the title track of a James Bond movie. It’s worth mentioning that Russia is considering blacking out the TV signal when this song goes on.