Welcome to the WPTAS!
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So lets get one thing straight. I’m British. So I look pretty much like this:
http://www.catflapmag.com/football-blog/content/binary/Mr-Posh.jpg
Up until last year I had never even seen a Pop-Tart. I had only heard rumours of them existing in America somewhere, and I gave little thought to it. Over here anything that doesn’t claim to be “low-this, organic-that, healthy-this, reduced salt-that” gets swiftly scorned and shunned by society.
However last year I was talking to a mate of mine at a BBQ, and when I said that I had never had one before, he was taken aback! He’s a body-builder and apparently eats them like their going out of fashion, as do a lot of people in his gym, so the idea that I had never even seen one was sheer blasphemy! He jumped in his car, and was back 15 minutes later with a box of them, which he promptly tore open in a style reminiscent of The Hulk tearing his shirt and chucked them in the toaster. Hulk snaaaaccckk!
We waited. I’m not going to lie, I had my doubts. I’m not a big fan of overly-sweet foods and these things looked like they were going to be pure concentrated sweetness! I wasn’t sure what to expect.
Pop! the tarts pop up out of the toaster, and they are swiftly plated and pushed under my nose with the swiftness and precision of a professional chef.
…
I take a bite…
GRAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! It’s like eating molten iron!
“Nothing to worry about honey, I just didn’t let them cool enough!”
Needless to say, I have jumped the gun and the bitten mouthful drops onto the plate as I chug down some water. My mate laughs at me. I’ve made a n00b mistake.
So… we wait a bit for it to cool and I try again.
[i]First bite: “Mmmmmm, not bad. Not bad at all.”
Second bite: “Wow, this is good. REALLY good…”
Third bite: “OH MERCIFUL ZEUS! TRULY THIS IS ROYAL NECTAR FROM ATOP OLYMPUS ITSELF!!”[/i]
Since that moment, I’ve been a convert. We only really get the Strawberry ones and the Chocolate fudge ones over here, but there is a shop near my brothers that sells some of the HFCS-infused-vitamin-fortified-in-your-face American flavours, and the few I’ve tried they’re absolutely lush. The Fudge Sundae flavour is just… well… I couldn’t describe my experience of eating it on a family forum. It’s THAT good.
So yes, I am a Pop-Tart convert. My stiff-upper-lip was burned, then removed by your baked pockets of love. Jolly good show chaps!
So guys, talk to me! Who else truly appreciates the Majesty that is the humble Pop-Tart?! =D
It does keep you awake at 4 in the morning when you are about to hike Mt. Washington… All I had to eat that morning was cold Pop-Tarts and cold, black coffee.