If soneone could give me feedback on my first review

Its the clyw wooley and snowtire with kk review please and thanks

|Y|O|R|E|D| @~~

gud reveew man peece :slight_smile:

I think that you could have the capacity to do a decent review, however. You need to go into more specific detail about what you are reviewing. I.e. how it plays, stability, smoothness, grinding, etc. When people read a review they are looking for specific information. They want details.
Most decent reviews are at least a few paragraphs long. If you really want to get into reviewing stuff you should look at other well known reviewers, and study their reviews. Internalize the format they use and the kind of information they are presenting. Most importantly, you need to really study the subject before posting a review, really take your time to get a really good feel for how the yoyo plays. I would say, play it for at least a week or two first.
Once again, i am not being rude, i am trying to provide constructive criticism. Please don’t take this offensively. A couple good reviewers to check out are:

highspeedyoyo.com or yoyoskills.com

Take a look at those and really study them.
I hope this helps

I’m a technical writer by trade and I do some contracting for local newspapers as well, so this sort of thing is right up my alley. 3 things I would say you should always do when writing a review…

  1. Any time you find yourself saying something like “it is great/nice/cool/pretty” or some subjective adjective like that, notice it, and then erase it. In its place, explain why it is nice/great/cool in as descriptive detail as you can. You did so a bit with your comments on the snow tires and that’s the kind of thing I want to know. It can be a tough thing to do when you’re very familiar with the object being reviewed.

  2. If you’re planning to write a review, note things that really struck you immediately after either opening the box, holding the throw, or playing it. Maybe the yoyo felt suprisingly light when you first threw it down, or the colorway was particularly striking in person. These kind of emotional responses are unique to each reviewer and each yoyo, so they’re typically the most interesting parts of a review.

  3. MOST importantly, find at least one way in which the yoyo is imperfect. It doesn’t have to mean you don’t love it, but you’re writing a review for the benefit of others. So many people neglect to do this, maybe because they feel guilty saying bad things or maybe just because they like the yoyo so much, but there is always room for improvement. It doesn’t help me if you mention all these great things and then I get the yoyo home and find out the finish doesn’t grind well. This is the greatest responsibility a critic assumes when they publish.

Not terrible by any means though. Your pictures were great too. Just expand a little on your feelings next time. It won’t bore us, we want to read them.

Yes I didn’t think it was too bad but it was pretty short. I think you need to write more developed,long sentences. Yous were choppy.Just like this. It plays great.The kk is awesome.

Post your feedback in his review thread…