In any coolness competition, it’s unfair to pit handmade art yoyos against the titan of alrightness which is YoYoFactory. Outdone only by Magicyoyo in quantity > quality, and headed by Ben McPhee (the yoyo equivalent of Randy Pitchford), YoYoFactory is a brand that earns very few hipster points. But for whatever reason, maybe cost, cultural influence, whatever - every yoyo collection I’ve seen has been dripping with YYFs. Mine’s no exception. So snap on your hubstacks and unwrap your lollipops, because in today’s installment of The yoyo Cool Wall, our focus narrows on YoYoFactory.
Sub Zero:
888: It made metal yoyo history. It’s been to space. I can’t look at it without Speed by Atari Teenage Riot blasting in my head. And whenever it’s caught, the hubstacks continue to roar as if to mock your throwhand for trying to stop its perpetual motion.
Protostar: What’s the only thing cooler than being arguably the best playing plastic yoyo of all time? Rarity. I have exactly one of these, the 44Clash edition. I dinged it. The fact that I’ll probably never have a dead-smooth Protostar keeps me up at night.
Cool:
Fast 201: A historically significant and innovative design. But I mostly just love it for this ad.
Atlas: Everyone’s using ultrawides now, this yoyo was prophetic. But the coolest part was how it was basically a throwaway design that was given life by Jake Elliott’s bonkers skill.
Replay Pro and Northstar: The venerable Robin Hood yoyos, winning big competitions at price points around $20. But they’re just not as cool as the Protostar.
Uncool :
The One, the Spinstar, and the Arrow series: Yeah. These are fine. Acceptable choices for a beginner. And that’s why they’re bland. 10 years ago, I learned to yoyo on an utterly borked yoyo from Barnes and Noble. It was made of faded red metal, shaped like an Imperial, and had a plastic transaxle that snapped within days. After that I upgraded (yes, upgraded) to a real Imperial. And in spite of the jank, I learned. It required persistence that I’m still proud of. I doubt I’d be lucky enough to feel that if one of these YYFs were my first yoyo.
Super Uncool:
DNA/Godspeed: If you only feel like it’s worth it to yoyo when there are cameras rolling, boy have I got the throw for you.
Balls: Either Seriously Uncool or Sub Zero. No in-between.
Alright. Now hit me with your takes.