Wise quotes and sayings.


(Cinimod105) #1

What are some wise quotes and sayings you know of?(must be meaningful)


#2

If at first you don’t succeed…take up skydiving ;D


(Connor) #3

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


#4

Yo momma so fat! Wait, let me try again…

Just because I dont care, doesnt mean I dont understand - Homer Simpson :wink:


(Connor) #5

:smiley:

“Just because im quiet doesnt mean I dont have alot to say
Just because im sarcastic doesnt mean I dont take it seriously
Just because I forgive doesnt mean I forget
Just because im stubborn doesnt mean im not easy going
Just because i dont show my feelings doesnt mean I dont have any
Just because Im not like you doesnt mean im weird
Just because I dont say I love you doesnt mean I dont.”

Woo, that was long.


#6

Santa say Merry Christmas–So what does the Tooth Fairy say?

   ...?

               -Evan

(Connor) #7

Tooth Fairy says: "Gimme your loose tooth or ill rip out ALL your NOT loose teeth with a pair of pliers! >:( "

Thats what the tooth fairy says. :smiley:


#8

Sorry about the list…

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

“Fragile. Do not drop.” — Posted on a Boeing 757

Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it really is ‘after light’?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, “Times are kind of tough.” He also pointed out that Bill Gates is kind of rich, that water is kind of wet, and that Elvis is kind of dead.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, ‘Psst. That’s the Secret Service.’

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Rock is dead, paper killed it.

All my life I had one dream: to complete my many goals.

There are three kinds of people in the world; Those who can count, and those who can’t.

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a good example.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can’t stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The man that runs away lives to die another day.

Death is life’s way of telling you you’re fired.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.


#9

Actually, I thought that one was:

“Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to do what it takes to get there.”


#10

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye and run like H***.

I saw that on a pin at the mall.


(Mark) #11

Humans are…a bit more complicated than tea. Most of them, anyway.
-I don’t know where I got this I think my friend-

If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?

  • Confucius -

(Jeromy K.) #12

Those who are prepared for eternity are looking for their last breath, those who are not, are looking for their next. :slight_smile:


#13

“This is the most important thing I will ever say to you. The human mind is the ultimate testing device. You can take all the notes you want on the technical data, anything you forget you can look up again, but this must be engraved on your hearts in letters of fire.”
“There iS nothing, nothing, nothing more important to me in the men and women I train than their absolute personal integrity. Whether you function as welders or inspectors, the laws of physics are implacable lie-detectors. You may fool men. You will never fool metal. That’s all.”
Leo Graf teaches a class of Quaddies
(Lois McMaster Bujold, Falling Free)


#14

Nothing’s illegal untill you get caught!! :-X :-\


#15

There was something I heard once

Democrats say how they will focus on education and other stuff while Republicans say they won’t do anything at all. Then they get elected and prove it.

“Excuse Me”
“There is no excuse for you”

Bunnies are eviiil!!!

If you want something done right, have your mom do it for you.

Don’t count you chickens until you eat the hot flashed hen.

When in doubt, start flipping a coin.

When stumped on a test, start eeny-miney-moing.

We nerds prefer the term: people smarter than you… in our case

Your Face!!

I hate Mondays…

Be nice to nerds, chances are you’ll work for one someday.

Your parents weren’t always boring like they are now, they just got that way because you keep talking about how cool you are.

Deal with it bub!!

Finally

“Class in case of a lockdown I won’t risk my life for yours. My job describtion is to teach and not bust my butt for you; so you’re on your own.”


#16

We drive on PARKways and park on Driveways…

Hmmm?


#17

Got a new one:

Good Friends will bail you out of anything, best friends will stand next to you and say “We really screwed Up!!”


#18

“The day I can’t do my job drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun.”


(JonasK) #19

I made this one up myself, so be kind.

A person thinking under light, should be a lot brighter.

Yes it’s wordplay


#20

Don’t Play with matches: Lighters work much better. ;D