There has been some talk going around the unrelated descussion section concerning a certain Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos, and for those who have read these previous thread responses, I thought I would help clear any future controversy by answering some questions that might have come to your mind about the Bear and his sombrero made of nachos.
Q ; does the bear have a name?
A ; No, Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos’s mere Awesomeness requires no name to describe his badassery
Q ; is the bear male or female?
A ; although the Bear is often referred to as a “he” or “him” it is still unsure whether or not the bear truly is male, as there are no other Bears with the open mind that it would require to wear a sombrero made of nachos for the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos to mate with, however judging by the Bears past actions and responses it would be safe to assume that the bear is male, if not then quite possibly a butch female, or maybe even a unich, it is still next to impossible to verify the answer to this question as the bear has a thick Hide and He won’t let others near his no-no-zones.
Q ; how is it that the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos always has a sombrero made of nachos?
A ; There are those who have successfully accomplished to ingest his sombrero, but they can tell you it was not easy, and most importantly “not worth it”. As a matter of fact the Bear is shy without his hat and will runaway to a forested area only to reappear the next day hung-over, with a brand new sombrero made of nachos, how he does it remains a mistery, and any attempt of taking advantage of his hung-over state to steal the sombrero will set off his instincts instantly waking the now cranky Bear which as mentioned before is “not worth it”.
Q ; Does the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos have any powers?
A ; NO!, That’s ridiculous! There’s no such thing as a Bear with powers, If he had powers he would be referred to as the Bear with the power to-(count cards in blackjack, burp the alphabet, etc.) But the Bear instills a deep fear into the very core of his enemies with a single roar, however he rarely needs to do this as the bear is quite peaceful, as long as u keep out of his path…
Q ; What’s with the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos’s alcohol problem?
A ; What about his alcohol problem? And you don’t have to say “Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos” every time you ask about him, were not ignorant, we know the whole topic is about the Bear and his sombrero made of nachos.
Q ; …Okay, why does the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos drink alcohol?
A ; (smart ass)…okay It all started one day when he accidently ate honey from an abandoned bee hive, as it turned out the honey had fermented into Mead, drunk for the first time the Bear began walking on his hind legs because of the nice unbalanced feeling that comes with being “tipsy”, and from that hive he left the forest ignoring things that interested him in the past, such as waterfall bass fishing, stealing the fresh kill from a pack of wolves, and tree climbing for honey.
Unable to shake off the taste of alcohol, that now intoxicated his breath, he walked into the a small college town where he heard music, the music attracted him leading him to a frat house, the people partying in the frat house were too drunk to realize they were partying with a real live bear, and those that did notice thought they were hallucinating from the illegal substances being passed around, the bear had a great time playing beer pong, doing keg stands (Which required 10 men to lift due to the Bears sheer weight) and hitting beer bongs, among the many drinking games he played that night. He was very good at holding his liquor due to his large mass and did not hesitate to laugh at all the other light weights who puked or passed out in there feeble attempts to keep up with the Bear, but in the end the Bear succumbed to the cruel fate of his long night of binge drinking and blacked out continuing his free loading and massive partying without consciousness of his actions.
When he woke up the next day from his first hangover he was a bit disgruntled but after everything he learned his wisdom had grown and he knew almost from instinct to just take it easy, so he rose from the bed without disturbing the strangers who lay passed out beside him, and care-full not to step on the people passed out on the floor, he made his way to the bathroom where he found his reflection wearing a sombrero made of nachos, he liked the look, cracked off a small piece for a taste, but didn’t appreciate it as he had dry mouth and it only made him more thirsty, feeling dirty the bear took his first shower, groomed his thick coat and now smelling like an Irish spring he proceeded downstairs to raid the fridge and liquor cabinet, only to continue his cycle.
Q ; does he ever hibernate in the winter?
A ; No, His constant binge drinking keeps him dead asleep for more than 10 hours a day, added together it basically makes up for his hibernation in the winter, plus he couldn’t possibly make it through the winter without a drink, he’s tried to drink as much as he could to store his liquor within him for the winter, but it goes through his system quick and forces him to urinate all his hard work.
Q ; in the story did he shower with the nacho sombrero?
A ; of coarse he did J
Q ; how did he keep it from getting soggy?
A ; I don’t shower with him, that’s an intrusion of his privacy.
Q ; but the steam must have at least sogged it up, he woulda’ had to have run away to the forest and comeback after another night of binge drinking to get a new one
A ; dude just let it go you’re thinking to far into it.
Q ; But…
A ; you ask to many questions, it’s in his nature to be mysterious, he doesn’t have to explain what he does or how he does it, just be happy we know what we know about him now
Q ; Can he be trusted around young children?
A ; Most certainly! However in the past mothers have complained that he treats them like pets, He’ll pat them on the head, throw a ball for them to fetch, maybe if he’s really annoyed with your little brats he’ll play Hide and seek and not seek for them, but otherwise he’s great with kids, who doesn’t love a fuzzy Bear with a sombrero made of nachos.
Q ; Can he be Dangerous at all?
A; He’s quite peaceful as he just wants to take it easy, he’s aloof and doesn’t pay much mind to what goes on around him, until you get in his way, then he might get a little aggressive which will result in a powerfull push or a backsweep from his arm, and any attempt to hide liquor from him will leave you with a big mess to clean up as he rifles around your home in search of alcohol, but after he gets a good buzz going he’ll help you clean up. Oh and do not snatch and eat his sombrero he will most likely knock you unconscious, so unless u want to wake up with a welt on your dome and a nasty headache as you hang upside down ceram wrapped to a tree, don’t go for the sombrero.
feel free to ask further questions, report sightings and interactions, or profes you’r Love/Hate for the Bear with a sombrero made of nachos.