Q&A on the Bear with a Sombrero made of nachos


#1

There has been some talk going around the unrelated descussion section concerning a certain Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos, and for those who have read these previous thread responses, I thought I would help clear any future controversy by answering some questions that might have come to your mind about the Bear and his sombrero made of nachos.

Q ; does the bear have a name?
A ; No, Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos’s mere Awesomeness requires no name to describe his badassery

Q ; is the bear male or female?
A ; although the Bear is often referred to as a “he” or “him” it is still unsure whether or not the bear truly is male, as there are no other Bears with the open mind that it would require to wear a sombrero made of nachos for the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos to mate with, however judging by the Bears past actions and responses it would be safe to assume that the bear is male, if not then quite possibly a butch female, or maybe even a unich, it is still next to impossible to verify the answer to this question as the bear has a thick Hide and He won’t let others near his no-no-zones.

Q ; how is it that the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos always has a sombrero made of nachos?
A ; There are those who have successfully accomplished to ingest his sombrero, but they can tell you it was not easy, and most importantly “not worth it”. As a matter of fact the Bear is shy without his hat and will runaway to a forested area only to reappear the next day hung-over, with a brand new sombrero made of nachos, how he does it remains a mistery, and any attempt of taking advantage of his hung-over state to steal the sombrero will set off his instincts instantly waking the now cranky Bear which as mentioned before is “not worth it”.

Q ; Does the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos have any powers?
A ; NO!, That’s ridiculous! There’s no such thing as a Bear with powers, If he had powers he would be referred to as the Bear with the power to-(count cards in blackjack, burp the alphabet, etc.) But the Bear instills a deep fear into the very core of his enemies with a single roar, however he rarely needs to do this as the bear is quite peaceful, as long as u keep out of his path…

Q ; What’s with the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos’s alcohol problem?
A ; What about his alcohol problem? And you don’t have to say “Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos” every time you ask about him, were not ignorant, we know the whole topic is about the Bear and his sombrero made of nachos.
Q ; …Okay, why does the Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos drink alcohol?
A ; (smart ass)…okay It all started one day when he accidently ate honey from an abandoned bee hive, as it turned out the honey had fermented into Mead, drunk for the first time the Bear began walking on his hind legs because of the nice unbalanced feeling that comes with being “tipsy”, and from that hive he left the forest ignoring things that interested him in the past, such as waterfall bass fishing, stealing the fresh kill from a pack of wolves, and tree climbing for honey.

Unable to shake off the taste of alcohol, that now intoxicated his breath, he walked into the a small college town where he heard music, the music attracted him leading him to a frat house, the people partying in the frat house were too drunk to realize they were partying with a real live bear, and those that did notice thought they were hallucinating from the illegal substances being passed around, the bear had a great time playing beer pong, doing keg stands (Which required 10 men to lift due to the Bears sheer weight) and hitting beer bongs, among the many drinking games he played that night. He was very good at holding his liquor due to his large mass and did not hesitate to laugh at all the other light weights who puked or passed out in there feeble attempts to keep up with the Bear, but in the end the Bear succumbed to the cruel fate of his long night of binge drinking and blacked out continuing his free loading and massive partying without consciousness of his actions.

When he woke up the next day from his first hangover he was a bit disgruntled but after everything he learned his wisdom had grown and he knew almost from instinct to just take it easy, so he rose from the bed without disturbing the strangers who lay passed out beside him, and care-full not to step on the people passed out on the floor, he made his way to the bathroom where he found his reflection wearing a sombrero made of nachos, he liked the look, cracked off a small piece for a taste, but didn’t appreciate it as he had dry mouth and it only made him more thirsty, feeling dirty the bear took his first shower, groomed his thick coat and now smelling like an Irish spring he proceeded downstairs to raid the fridge and liquor cabinet, only to continue his cycle.

Q ; does he ever hibernate in the winter?
A ; No, His constant binge drinking keeps him dead asleep for more than 10 hours a day, added together it basically makes up for his hibernation in the winter, plus he couldn’t possibly make it through the winter without a drink, he’s tried to drink as much as he could to store his liquor within him for the winter, but it goes through his system quick and forces him to urinate all his hard work.

Q ; in the story did he shower with the nacho sombrero?
A ; of coarse he did J
Q ; how did he keep it from getting soggy?
A ; I don’t shower with him, that’s an intrusion of his privacy.
Q ; but the steam must have at least sogged it up, he woulda’ had to have run away to the forest and comeback after another night of binge drinking to get a new one
A ; dude just let it go you’re thinking to far into it.
Q ; But…
A ; you ask to many questions, it’s in his nature to be mysterious, he doesn’t have to explain what he does or how he does it, just be happy we know what we know about him now

Q ; Can he be trusted around young children?
A ; Most certainly! However in the past mothers have complained that he treats them like pets, He’ll pat them on the head, throw a ball for them to fetch, maybe if he’s really annoyed with your little brats he’ll play Hide and seek and not seek for them, but otherwise he’s great with kids, who doesn’t love a fuzzy Bear with a sombrero made of nachos.

Q ; Can he be Dangerous at all?
A; He’s quite peaceful as he just wants to take it easy, he’s aloof and doesn’t pay much mind to what goes on around him, until you get in his way, then he might get a little aggressive which will result in a powerfull push or a backsweep from his arm, and any attempt to hide liquor from him will leave you with a big mess to clean up as he rifles around your home in search of alcohol, but after he gets a good buzz going he’ll help you clean up. Oh and do not snatch and eat his sombrero he will most likely knock you unconscious, so unless u want to wake up with a welt on your dome and a nasty headache as you hang upside down ceram wrapped to a tree, don’t go for the sombrero.

feel free to ask further questions, report sightings and interactions, or profes you’r Love/Hate for the Bear with a sombrero made of nachos.


#2

win post is win…


#3

Does the bear acctually pay his drinks or just steals it like a normal bear would do if bears drank human drinks.


#4

what happens if I eat his sombrero?


#5

The Grizzly Bear with a sombrero made of nachos is for lack of a better term, a “Freeloader”

I have not tried this out for myself out of fear of what the bear might do to me, when he’s drunk enough people have takein his sombrero away to wear for themselves in goup pictures but the bear casualy takes it back and the offender ends up coverd in stale beer or with bubblegum in there hair, I could only imagein what he would do if you ate it as others said before “soo not worth it :’(”


#6

Where did you come up with this idea?


#7

What will the bear do if you toss your yoyos at him?


#8

What would the bear do if the police stoped him for drunk driving?


#9

…What Idea? ???..

much like a circus bear, the Grizzly Bear wearing a sombrero made of nachos would catch the yoyo’s start free-styling in 3A while riding a unicycle under the influence, he did that one time in Cancun Mexico for Cinco-de-Mayo, although he swears up and down he doesn’t remember it.

My guess is as good as yours, but if you want my opinion I believe he would roll down the tinted window and roar at the cops, if that’s not enough to make them wet themselves in fear then I’m sure the strong alcohol vapors that would spout from his breath would take them to the floor.


#10

What if some hunter shot him?


#11

The chances of that happining are slim since he spends most of his time in cities, but when his Sombrero made of Nachos is devoured early in the day, he will feel naked and run away to a forest, this is the small window that would allow a hunter a chance, especialy if this happend durring bear hunting season, but again he has become veary clever and mischevious ever since he began partying, so he’s not easy to take down cause he’ll turn the tables around quick. The Bear is already notoriously well known by Animal Control in 15 states to include Florida, California, Texas, and Illinois. Animal Control in those states know better than to mess with him, his high tolerance to alcohol has made him immuned to tranquilizers, He gets confused with mascots cause of his Sombrero, and upright walk allowing him to blend in to large crowds, and has been cosidered “too clever” to be cought alive, but to answer your question, If he was shot, he would get hurt, or even worse, possably die.


#12

What if I swear at him?


#13

His english is terrible and he preferes to communicate with gestures, however he fully understands Russian, Japanese, and some dialects of Spanish preferably Cuban, If you do succesfully offend him (as he does have a great sense of humor and can dish back a funny diss) He might play a horrific prank like ceram-wrap over the toilet seat, the tar and feather trick, Or if your realy lucky you’ll wake up tied to the roof of a speeding vehicle


#14

Has anyone experience any of those above?


#15

yes, many people around the world have experienced many situations with the Grizzly Bear and his sombrero made of nachos, but also many people don’t remember the bear cause they were to drunk, or simply couldn’t believe what they saw.


#16

How would he behave at a birthday party?


#17

depends on the theme of the party, and the age of the birthday boy/girl if the kids young he might not be too welcome because of his heavy drinking, unless the family was Hispanic or Irish, then you’l find The Bear wearing a Sombrero Made of Nachos knockin back beers with the kids parents, unkles, and aunts, working the grill, he can cook a mean salmon. the only reason he would show up to any birthday party in the first place is to raid for booz, or els he won’t stick around for long.


#18

You poke him in the eye. What does he do?


#19

i know someone who knows someone who knows Jodie Foster who knows someone who knows someone that KNOWS THIS BEAR. i heard he actually read this thread and hes really pissed. hes worried people will eat his nachos. You people posting should keep a fifth of tequila and some salsa on you to give him so he leaves you alone in case you run into him. good luck to all of you and SHAME ON YOU


#20

every friday night i leave a bottle of patron outside my house. and in the morning i find the bottle empty with small pieces of nachos lying on the floor. i wait all night for the bear but i never see him. he is a tricky bear, how he does it i have no clue. he’s coming to the 2011 Sungod festival with me. for those who dont know what sungod is, its a UCSD tradition where you wake up and drink and drink and drink some more all day long and party the whole time till the main concert at night happens. and then you drink some more. its crazy. so bear with a sombrero made of nachos! you are invited. ill buy you your ticket