# Dad joke thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Unrelated Discussion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2018, 4:15am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462 "2018-10-31T04:15:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![kksimon](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/kksimon/32/46108_2.png) [@kksimon](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/kksimon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2019, 4:54am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/104 "2019-08-24T04:54:24Z")
I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you can hide, but you cant run!” ---
**Author:** ![smileypants707](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/smileypants707/32/19045_2.png) [@smileypants707](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/smileypants707)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2019, 6:25am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/105 "2019-08-28T06:25:54Z")
![Screenshot%20(7)](https://us1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/uploads/yoyoexpert1/original/4X/9/8/7/9871a10ec176e5766a6a8b15d8eacbe470cdf5fa.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Kieran](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/kieran/32/7959_2.png) [@Kieran](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Kieran)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2019, 8:23am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/106 "2019-08-28T08:23:46Z")
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight, unless you’re ready to face the reaper cushions. ---
**Author:** ![noodles](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/noodles/32/36467_2.png) [@noodles](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/noodles)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2019, 11:32am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/107 "2019-08-28T11:32:53Z")
did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? it’s fine, he woke up ---
**Author:** ![codinghorror](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/codinghorror/32/8052_2.png) [@codinghorror](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/codinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2019, 5:42pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/108 "2019-08-28T17:42:06Z")
Yessss… even more Dad jokes I can get behind > **[Nihilist Dad Jokes, Part 2](https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/nihilist-dad-jokes-part-2)** > > What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! Every bite is a flavorless and hollow lie. Every meal gives me less pleasure with each passing day. > \- -... ---
**Author:** ![fatguysnacks247](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/fatguysnacks247/32/81478_2.png) [@fatguysnacks247](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/fatguysnacks247)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2019, 11:49pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/109 "2019-08-28T23:49:36Z")
i told my kid i’m returning my butt for a new one. the one i have has a crack in it… ---
**Author:** ![skitrz](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/skitrz/32/849_2.png) [@skitrz](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/skitrz)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 3:05am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/110 "2019-08-29T03:05:16Z")
Son you are built backwards. Your nose runs and your feet smell! Ta Da………😧 ---
**Author:** ![Jhammond93](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/jhammond93/32/53095_2.png) [@Jhammond93](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Jhammond93)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 3:21am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/111 "2019-08-29T03:21:23Z")
It is a scientific fact that dads can’t grab a stud finder and not point it at himself, and say… hey I found a stud! ---
**Author:** ![anon5341354](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@anon5341354](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/anon5341354)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 11:19am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/112 "2019-08-29T11:19:51Z")
Should have done that ages ago!! 🤣🤣 ---
**Author:** ![theOldestCraze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90ced4/32.png) [@theOldestCraze](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/theOldestCraze)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 5:26pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/113 "2019-08-29T17:26:23Z")
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? “…dam.” And is that a real yo-yo? No, you are imagining all of this. ---
**Author:** ![fatguysnacks247](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/fatguysnacks247/32/81478_2.png) [@fatguysnacks247](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/fatguysnacks247)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2019, 5:47pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/114 "2019-08-29T17:47:28Z")
i’ve been calling out the “dabbin’ dad” and the “flossin’ father” during my celebratory dances, much to my son’s critique, and embarrassment in the public forum… ---
**Author:** ![Saber](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/saber/32/52611_2.png) [@Saber](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Saber)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 5:10am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/115 "2019-09-23T05:10:22Z")
Funny I thought the German butcher who made sausage outta sea birds took a Tern for the wurst. Also can we pray for the curry chef. Apparently he hit his head and slipped into Korma… ---
**Author:** ![anon5341354](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@anon5341354](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/anon5341354)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 5:25am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/116 "2019-09-23T05:25:28Z")
> [@Saber](#): > > Also can we pray for the curry chef. Apparently he hit his head and slipped into Korma… 🤣🤣:joy:🤣🤣:joy:🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Saber](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/saber/32/52611_2.png) [@Saber](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Saber)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 5:51am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/117 "2019-09-23T05:51:58Z")
I’m glad you liked it 🙂 The other day, there was an accident at a factory here in my home town, there was a lady that backed into an industrial cooling fan. Disaster… ---
**Author:** ![anon5341354](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@anon5341354](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/anon5341354)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 5:57am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/118 "2019-09-23T05:57:42Z")
There was a fire at a cheese factory in France. By the time the fire was put out, all that was left was de brie. ---
**Author:** ![KiLbUcK](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/kilbuck/32/794_2.png) [@KiLbUcK](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/KiLbUcK)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 1:48pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/119 "2019-09-23T13:48:19Z")
If you’re American in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom? European! ---
**Author:** ![the5th005](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/the5th005/32/114769_2.png) [@the5th005](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/the5th005)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 3:20pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/120 "2019-09-23T15:20:36Z")
What do you call a cow with three legs? …lean beef ---
**Author:** ![Jhammond93](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/jhammond93/32/53095_2.png) [@Jhammond93](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Jhammond93)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2019, 5:36pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/121 "2019-09-23T17:36:59Z")
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef ---
**Author:** ![PCaliyoyos](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/pcaliyoyos/32/108396_2.png) [@PCaliyoyos](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/PCaliyoyos)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 12:03am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/122 "2019-09-24T00:03:18Z")
ARRRRGGGHHHH 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![photogeek](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/photogeek/32/41072_2.png) [@photogeek](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/photogeek)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2019, 3:13am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462/123 "2019-09-24T03:13:07Z")
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved. [Previous page](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462.md?page=5) [Next page](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/dad-joke-thread/294462.md?page=7)