Chuck Norris jokes anyone?


I dunno why but I’ve always found Chuck Norris one liners hilarious. Here’s a few of my favorites you can add some of your own if you like.

When Chuck Norris goes hunting he shoots himself in the leg to give the bear a head start.

Aliens really do exist they’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno and a Monopoly “get out of jail free card” :smiley:


I have a joke. Chuck Norris could beat Steve Terada in a fight. (Steve could so take on Chuck)


Chuck Norris. He can believe it’s not butter.


chuck norris doesn’t like people joking about him…you’ll be sorry… :o


Chuck Norris more than meets the eyes, Chuck Norris a robot in disguise.


When he does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up. He pushes the earth down?


Chuck Norris counted to infinite twice.
Chuck Norris recited pi backwards.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of him.
Alien vs. Predator used to be Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris but they stopped because you cant make a 10 second movie.


You didn’t sink the battle ship… Chuck Norris did.

(Marvin.D) #9

i already did this,6697.0.html


Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is Hiding.


chuck norris was originally cast as the Terminator in the movies, but the director realized that would make it a documentary so he cast Arnie instead



When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn’t get wet the water get Chuck Norris


Its said that chuck norris’s tears can cure cancer, shame he has never cried!


Chuck Norris beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


At the back of the Guiness book of world records there is a page which states all records are held by Chuck Norris. The people listed in the book are actually second in the world.


type in chuck norris jokes on youtube there is a lot and chuck norris is watching you. :o

(Walker, Yo-Yo Ranger) #18

Well, i tried google to get chuck norris jokes, and i got this:


why does Chuck norris leave a lamp on at night??because the dark is scared of chuck norris :smiley:

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t use black pepper to spice up his food he uses pepper spray.

  • The chemical abreviation for cyanide is CN this also happens to be Chuck Norris’s Initials, this isn’t a cowincidence.

  • Chuck Norris doesnt read books, he stares them down untill they give them the info he needs.