Being it's Chuck Norris' Birthday I though we could have some good clean jokes.


Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

(SlimJoe) #2

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.


chuck norris doesn’t read books. he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants from them.


Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.


Chuck Norris doesn’t yoyo, he just stares at his yoyo until it plays itself.



Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his own teeth and boils the water with his rage.

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because “The Sum of All Fears” is the name of Chuck Norris’ autobiography.

(JayVee) #7

According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

(Q) #8

When you spell Chuck Norris’s name wrong in google search it doesn’t say “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It says “RUN”

Chuck Norris can kick you in the back of the face.

He can slam a revolving door


Turn around. He’s behind you. And if he’s not… then check under the desk.

How many people just did that?


Chuck Norris didn’t turn 70 yesterday, 70 turned Chuck Norris.


chuck norris counted to infinety… twice


I’ll just throwthis in here.


Yeah but this is his birthday thread! so :stuck_out_tongue:


When Chuck Norris saw himself in the nirror he scared himself.

(Q) #15

Almost… But nothing scares Chuck Norris


Yeah…Let’s change it up a bit.

Chuck Norris saw himself in the mirror and the reflection scared the wall the mirror was on.

(winterjibber) #17

if you see chuck norris he sees you. if you dont see chuck norris your about 3 secands from death.

chuck norris seud NBC because he claims the show Law and Order stole the names of his right and left leg.

(Zer0) #18

Safe, but not clean if you get my drift…

They tried to make a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it failed miserably because it wouldn’t take crap from anybody.

(Q) #19

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake


Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris is so tough, he gargles with peanut butter every morning.