# Alice's Restaurant Massacree

**URL:** <https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536>\
**Category:** Unrelated Discussion\
**Created:** [November 22, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536 "2012-11-22T06:58:21Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jhb8426](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/jhb8426/32/631_2.png) [@jhb8426](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/jhb8426)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/1 "2012-11-22T06:58:21Z")

</div>

This song is called Alice’s Restaurant, and it’s about Alice, and the  
restaurant, but Alice’s Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,  
that’s just the name of the song, and that’s why I called the song Alice’s  
Restaurant…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ebilflindas](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/ebilflindas/32/1123_2.png) [@ebilflindas](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/ebilflindas)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/2 "2012-11-22T07:01:11Z")

</div>

You can get  
anything you want…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/a_soviet_locust/32/113687_2.png) [@A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/A_Soviet_Locust)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 11:37am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/3 "2012-11-22T11:37:35Z")

</div>

> [@jhb8426](#):
>
> This song is called Alice’s Restaurant, and it’s about Alice, and the  
> restaurant, but Alice’s Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,  
> that’s just the name of the song, and that’s why I called the song Alice’s  
> Restaurant…

So i finally heard on the radio the other day, the song in your signature. I was like oh, that’s a song?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yossarian/32/1006_2.png) [@Yossarian](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Yossarian)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 11:59am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/4 "2012-11-22T11:59:22Z")

</div>

…at Alice’s Restaurant  
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant  
Walk right in, it’s around the back, just a half a mile from the railroad track  
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant

This is a fine Thanksgiving tradition.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![yoyoavenger](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yoyoavenger/32/884_2.png) [@yoyoavenger](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/yoyoavenger)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 12:08pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/5 "2012-11-22T12:08:44Z")

</div>

I’m confused

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![skitrz](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/skitrz/32/849_2.png) [@skitrz](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/skitrz)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/6 "2012-11-22T12:17:45Z")

</div>

> [@yoyoavenger](#):
>
> I’m confused

It’s understandable that you would be confused, if you don’t know Alice. :wink:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jhb8426](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/jhb8426/32/631_2.png) [@jhb8426](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/jhb8426)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/7 "2012-11-22T14:00:08Z")

</div>

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on  
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the  
restaurant, but Alice doesn’t live in the restaurant, she lives in the  
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and  
Fasha the dog. And livin’ in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of  
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin’ all that room,  
seein’ as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn’t  
have to take out their garbage for a long time.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/a_soviet_locust/32/113687_2.png) [@A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/A_Soviet_Locust)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/8 "2012-11-22T14:16:53Z")

</div>

The Gnarwhal bacons at midnight.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cruton](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/cruton/32/1227_2.png) [@cruton](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/cruton)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/9 "2012-11-22T14:38:53Z")

</div>

Local radio Dj here plays that song at 10am, noon and 2pm every Thanksgiving. [wmmr.com](http://wmmr.com)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![offstring-stewart](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/offstring-stewart/32/940_2.png) [@offstring-stewart](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/offstring-stewart)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/10 "2012-11-22T15:44:56Z")

</div>

I could’ve sworn Alice’s Restaurant was about dodging going into the Vietnam Struggle…Hence, the very accurate Movie…My dad grew up on that song…and A Boy Named Sue…love good older music…

My Name’s Sue…  
How Do You Do?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yossarian/32/1006_2.png) [@Yossarian](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Yossarian)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/11 "2012-11-22T15:53:59Z")

</div>

Stick around, offstring-stewart, we’re getting there.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it’d be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the city dump. Well, we got there, and there’s a big sign and a chain across the dump saying “Closed on Thanksgiving”. We had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes, we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Big\_Yoyo](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/big_yoyo/32/1032_2.png) [@Big\_Yoyo](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Big_Yoyo)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/12 "2012-11-22T15:54:06Z")

</div>

I have listened to that on the local rock station every Thanksgiving since I was too young to remember. I have it on my ipod as well

Sent from Ice Cream Sandwich Eatin’ Optimus V

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Big\_Yoyo](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/big_yoyo/32/1032_2.png) [@Big\_Yoyo](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Big_Yoyo)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/13 "2012-11-22T15:55:48Z")

</div>

Did you know the song is a true story? Arlo Gutherie was on the news today. And it wasn’t about getting out of the war, its about how throwing that trash caused so much trouble

Sent from Ice Cream Sandwich Eatin’ Optimus V

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![offstring-stewart](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/offstring-stewart/32/940_2.png) [@offstring-stewart](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/offstring-stewart)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/14 "2012-11-22T15:58:21Z")

</div>

> [@Big\_Yoyo](#):
>
> Did you know the song is a true story? Arlo Gutherie was on the news today. And it wasn’t about getting out of the war, its about how throwing that trash caused so much trouble
> 
> Sent from Ice Cream Sandwich Eatin’ Optimus V

Symbolically,it could’ve been…And Guthrie is so old, I don’t even think He really remembers writing that awesome song, no offense to Arlo, but he is old…And he even played a role in the Movie…so…I dunno

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jhb8426](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/jhb8426/32/631_2.png) [@jhb8426](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/jhb8426)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/15 "2012-11-22T17:07:16Z")

</div>

> [@cruton](#):
>
> Local radio Dj here plays that song at 10am, noon and 2pm every Thanksgiving. [wmmr.com](http://wmmr.com)

We’re faking the radio part here…

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the  
dump saying, “Closed on Thanksgiving.” And we had never heard of a dump  
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off  
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![YoyoGeezer](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yoyogeezer/32/755_2.png) [@YoyoGeezer](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/YoyoGeezer)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/16 "2012-11-22T19:01:26Z")

</div>

…We didn’t find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the  
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the  
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile  
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we  
decided to throw our’s down.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![quinton](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/quinton/32/376_2.png) [@quinton](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/quinton)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/17 "2012-11-22T19:32:26Z")

</div>

> [@A\_Soviet\_Locust](#):
>
> The Gnarwhal bacons at midnight.

Your kind aint welcome here.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/a_soviet_locust/32/113687_2.png) [@A\_Soviet\_Locust](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/A_Soviet_Locust)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/18 "2012-11-22T21:23:18Z")

</div>

> [@Q](#):
>
> > [@A\_Soviet\_Locust](#):
> >
> > The Gnarwhal bacons at midnight.
> 
> Your kind aint welcome here.

Reddit will take over teh inturwebs

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![YoyoGeezer](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yoyogeezer/32/755_2.png) [@YoyoGeezer](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/YoyoGeezer)\
**Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/19 "2012-11-22T21:38:57Z")

</div>

That’s what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving  
dinner that couldn’t be beat, went to sleep and didn’t get up until the  
next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, “Kid,  
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of  
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it.” And  
I said, “Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope  
under that garbage.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex015/user_avatar/forums.yoyoexpert.com/yossarian/32/1006_2.png) [@Yossarian](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/u/Yossarian)\
**Post date:** [November 23, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536/20 "2012-11-23T00:07:33Z")

</div>

After speaking to Obie for about 45 minutes on the telephone, we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the police officer station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the police officer’s station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn’t very likely, and we didn’t expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer’s station there was a third possibility that we hadn’t even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said “Obie, I don’t think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on.” He said, “Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the patrol car.”

[Next page](https://forums.yoyoexpert.com/t/alices-restaurant-massacree/45536.md?page=2)
